#sarcasm

It would be the last thing he did if he beat my dog. ↗

— Holly Hood

#irony #sarcasm #funny

This is where you all live?" Asked John as they ascended the stairs. "It's small." "This is just our Thanksgiving house," Scott muttered. "We have a house for every day of the year. ↗

— Adam Rex

#sarcasm #funny

At this time of year it's easy to forget the true meaning of Christianity - the lies, the corruption, the abuse. ↗

— Banksy

#art #christianity #christmas #priest #religion

It means 'Shadowhunters: Looking Better in Black Than the Widows of our Enemies Since 1234'. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#jace-wayland #sarcasm #humor

I don't do what I'm told, but I might do what you want if you ask me nicely. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#imogen-herondale #impudence #jace-wayland #obedience #rebelliousness

You are your mother's trueborn son of Lannister." "Am I?" the dwarf replied, sardonic. "Do tell my lord father. My mother died birthing me, and he's never been sure." "I don't even know who my mother was," Jon said. "Some woman, no doubt. Most of them are." He favored Jon with a rueful grin. "Remember this, boy. All dwarfs may be bastards, yet not all bastards need be dwarfs." And with that he turned and sauntered back into the feast, whistling a tune. When he opened the door, the light from within threw his shadow clear across the yard, and for just a moment Tyrion Lannister stood tall as a king. ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#dwarfs #humor #jon-snow #king #sarcasm

If money’s the god people worship, I’d rather go worship the devil instead. ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#commercialism #core #core-of-the-soul #core-values #devil

I am a story teller. If I wanted to send a message I would have written a sermon. ↗

— Philip Pullman

#writing #story

Don't stop there. I suppose there are also, what, vampires and werewolves and zombies?" "Of course there are. Although you mostly find zombies farther south, where the voudun priests are." "What about mummies? Do they only hang around Egypt?" "Don't be ridiculous. No one believes in mummies. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#jace-wayland #joke #mummies #sarcasm #vampire

It's wildly irritating to have invented something as revolutionary as sarcasm, only to have it abused by amateurs. ↗

— Christopher Moore

#christ