#sarcasm

Amy, Dan, and Nellie were sitting at a table in a conference room, examining reproductions of Franklin documents-some so rare, the librarians told her, the only copies existed in Paris. "Yeah, here's a rare grocery list," Dan muttered. "Wow. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#cahill #humor #rare #sarcasm #humor

I couldn’t see Pritkin’s face very well, just a pale blur against the shadows, but he didn’t sound happy. Some people thought he had only one mode... pissed off. In reality, he had plenty of them. Over the past few weeks, I’d learned to tell the difference between real pissed off, impatient pissed off and scared pissed off. I suspected that this was the last kind. If so, that made two of us. ↗

— Karen Chance

#humor #karen-chance-sarcasm #pritkin #humor

I have church on Sunday.” “Of course you do.” “You’re welcome to come along.” “Thanks, but I’m allergic to incense.” “That’s a shame.” “It’s the bane of my existence.” - Beth and Jake ↗

— Alexandra Adornetto

#religion #sarcasm #humor

I'm sorry. I use my rapier wit to hide my inner pain. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #sarcasm #humor

I turned to Dionysus. "You cured him?" "Madness is my specialty. It was quite simple." "But...you did something nice. Why?" He raised and eyebrow. "I am nice! I simple ooze niceness, Perry Johansson. Haven't you noticed? ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #madness #nice #percy-jackson #sarcasm

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. ↗

— Irina Dunn

#non-sequitur #sarcasm #women #humor

The earl shook his head, exhibiting a degree of frosty offense that could only be achieved by an aristocrat whose wishes had just been gainsaid. “I’ve never heard of a man being so eager to confess to the parent of a girl he’s just ruined,” he said sourly. ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#sarcasm #humor

Should I pull on a shirt?" he asked with hint of amusement. I WILL NOT BLUSH. "No." He'd be doing the world a favor if he never wore a shirt again, but I wasn't going to tell him that part. "You're fine. ↗

— Gena Showalter

#sarcasm #humor

You're about as delicate as an AK-47. ↗

— Jill Hathaway

#sarcasm #humor

The doctor seemed especially troubled by the fact of the robbery having been unexpected, and attempted in the night-time; as if it were the established custom of gentlemen in the housebreaking way to transact business at noon, and to make an appointment, by the twopenny post, a day or two previous. ↗

— Charles Dickens

#sarcasm #business