#sarcasm

I don’t get you people. You watch the Godfather on television and tons of people are getting shot and stabbed to death, blood splattering everywhere and it is entertaining. But, when they killed a horse, people were outraged. ↗

— Mario Stinger

#irony #killing #sarcasm #violence #death

Awww," Minho said. "That's almost as sweet as that time she slammed the end of a spear into your shuck face. ↗

— James Dashner

#sarcasm #death

If then, Moses so distinctly announces that there is in us not only a faculty, but also a facility for keeping all commandments, why are we sweating so much? ... What need is there now of Christ or of Spirit? We have found a passage that asserts freedom of choice, but also distinctly teaches that the keeping of the commandments is easy. ↗

— Martin Luther

#freedom

I have tried to teach you the wonders of the spiritual world... I have tried to show how we mortals can attain such wisdom... ...and I've decided you're a pillock. ↗

— Roger Kettle

#sarcasm #wisdom #inspirational

So what were your favorite subjects in school?" "School?" He leaned back in his chair as though he needed the extra space to think about it. "Probably math. It always made sense. Unlike English, economics, and girls." "And exactly how do you plan on taking over the free world if you don't understand economics?" "I'll hire advisers. I'll hire you, in fact." "Okay. Let me know when your army of junior high zombies is ready. ↗

— Janette Rallison

#math #sarcasm #life

I frowned at him. "Isn't sarcasm the opiate of the masses?" "You're thinking of religion," he replied. "Sarcasm is the Xanax of the morally bereft. ↗

— Cecily White

#religion #sarcasm #religion

Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your own children in such a way? You take delight in vexing me. You have no compassion for my poor nerves." "You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. They are my old friends. I have heard you mention them with consideration these last twenty years at least. ↗

— Jane Austen

#hysteria #irony #nerves #sarcasm #respect

He just waited until I stopped talking and said, 'Jesus, kid, you're almost a detective. All you need now is a gun, a gut, and three ex-wives. So what's your theory? ↗

— John Green

#police #sarcasm #guns

Give me a few minutes.” “You have time.” He sat in the grass. “Are you just going to sit there and watch me?” “Yes. Watching pretty peasant girls is what we poor little rich boys do best.” “Peasant?” He shrugged. “You started the name calling. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#flirting #sarcasm #rich

Silverstream: You idiot!!! What are you doing in my territory??? Graystripe:...Drowning? Silverstream: Can't you do that in your own territory? Graystripe: Ah, but who would rescue me there? ↗

— Erin Hunter

#graystripe #sarcasm #silverstream #warriors #fire