#sarcasm

I do sarcasm really poorly. ↗

— Brittany Murphy

#i do #poorly #really #sarcasm

What I claim is to live to the full the contradiction of my time, which may well make sarcasm the condition of truth. ↗

— Roland Barthes

#condition #contradiction #full #i #live

I have a theory that as human beings get older, chemicals are released into the brain to prepare us for the end. Sort of like how the nurse lubes your ass up before the anus-cam. It makes the whole thing a lot easier to swallow. Easier, not enjoyable. ↗

— Kris D'Agostino

#death-and-dying #humor #life #life-and-living #realist

The over-weight and out of shape guy who owned the house had apparently decided that having a half-million dollar house meant that he couldn’t afford to hire someone to clean out his gutters. Now he was dead with what looked to me like a broken neck after the ladder had slipped. He’d taken the plunge into his fancy landscaping—complete with rock garden. But hey, his fucking gutters were clean. ↗

— Diana Rowland

#dying #garden #humor #irony #sarcasm

Avoid sarcasm. Don't insist on the last word. ↗

— Ford Frick

#insist #last #sarcasm #word

I suppose the latest thing is to sit back and let Mr. Nobody from Nowhere make love to your wife. ↗

— F. Scott Fitzgerald

#funny-quotes #gatsby #love #sarcasm #tom

In my opinion, I think sarcasm and humor in a song, without turning it into a novelty song, is really charming. ↗

— Alanis Morissette

#humor #i #i think #in my opinion #into

Don't stop there. I suppose there are also, what, vampires and werewolves and zombies?" "Of course there are. Although you mostly find zombies farther south, where the voudun priests are." "What about mummies? Do they only hang around Egypt?" "Don't be ridiculous. No one believes in mummies. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#jace-wayland #joke #mummies #sarcasm #vampire

A little girl robbed you?" Tessa said. "Actually, she wasn’t a little girl at all, as it turns out, but a midget in a dress with a penchant for violence, who goes by the name of Six-Fingered Nigel." "Easy mistake to make," Jem said. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#mistakes

If you are going to do that, would you mind not jostling the bed so much?' came a sarcastic voice near the head board. 'Perhaps you could roll around on the floor. ↗

— Julie Kagawa

#fooling-around #grimalkin #sarcasm #voice