#sarcasm

You know the difference between right and wrong,' he repeated finally. 'Man, why did you need Initiation—by the Golden Dawn, or by anybody else? You are a genius, a sage, a giant among men. You have solved the problem which philosophers have been debating since antiquity—the mystery about which no two nations or tribes have ever agreed, and no two men or women have ever agreed, and no intelligent person has ever agreed totally with himself from one day to the next. You know the difference between right and wrong. I am overawed. I swoon. I figuratively kiss your feet. ↗

— Robert Anton Wilson

#morality #relativism #sarcasm #intelligence

You like? she asked Slade. He gave her a head nod and she vanished behind the curtain. That's my sister, he said, pointing at the closed curtain. I shrugged. "I'm glad you guys are so close. ↗

— Holly Hood

#love #paranomral-romance #sarcasm #witty #life

Where is your false, your treacherous, and cursed wife?" "She's gone forrard to the Police Office," returns Mr Bucket. "You'll see her there, my dear." "I would like to kiss her!" exclaims Mademoiselle Hortense, panting tigress-like. "You'd bite her, I suspect," says Mr Bucket. "I would!" making her eyes very large. "I would love to tear her, limb from limb." "Bless you, darling," says Mr Bucket, with the greatest composure; "I'm fully prepared to hear that. Your sex have such a surprising animosity against one another, when you do differ. ↗

— Charles Dickens

#sarcasm #women #love

You are in good shape for a dead man. ↗

— Mario Stinger

#sarcasm #nature

The inextinguishable lesbian spark. You've surely heard about it? The one that was first ignited at Lesbos, because Sappho was so sad every time a young woman left the academy that she wrote her a poem. Fancy being sad because someone leaves! Perverted, that's what I call it. Don't you? ↗

— Gerd Brantenberg

#sappho #sarcasm #nature

Who the hell is that?! Some call her Satan. Others, Beelzebub. She goes by many names. ↗

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

#romance #sarcasm #nature

Andrew just shrugged, and I fiddled with the napkin in my lap while glancing idly around the restaurant. The obligatory mirrors hung on the walls, and there was one of those fountains with fake lily pads in the entryway. The restaurant was also lit like a mine shaft. I've never understood why dim lighting is supposed to be so romantic. Night vision belongs into a Paris Hilton sex tape - not in a restaurant that could potentially poison me with peanut sauce. ↗

— Alicia Thompson

#restaurants #sarcasm #romantic

While the Clave disapproves of trespassers, oddly they take an even darker view of beheading and skinning people. They're peculiar that way. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humour #sarcasm #will-herondale #humour

Imitating someone is the mediocre way of getting humanity back to what we evolved from. ↗

— Shubham Choudhary

#sarcasm #satire #satire

You don’t like my restaurant, Miss Connor?” “I couldn’t say since the waiting list to get in is six months long.” One side of his mouth curved up. “This is true.” His finger lingered, and I tried to swallow the nervous lump in my throat. “I think you can call me by my first name now, seeing as how you’re touching my boob. That puts us a little past formality, don’t you think? ↗

— Jenny Lyn

#food-and-sex #funny #humor #jenny-lyn #sarcasm