#sarcasm

You can give me detention. Oh, wait, that's right...you aren't the boss of me. So I guess you can just bite me. -Dean ↗

— Jeff Mariotte

#humor #sarcasm #science-fiction #humor

I have church on Sunday.” “Of course you do.” “You’re welcome to come along.” “Thanks, but I’m allergic to incense.” “That’s a shame.” “It’s the bane of my existence.” - Beth and Jake ↗

— Alexandra Adornetto

#religion #sarcasm #humor

It’s sarcasm, Josh.” “Sarcasm?” “It’s from the Greek, sarkasmos. To bite the lips. It means that you aren’t really saying what you mean, but people will get your point. I invented it, Bartholomew named it.” “Well, if the village idiot named it, I’m sure it’s a good thing.” “There you go, you got it.” “Got what?” “Sarcasm.” “No, I meant it.” “Sure you did.” “Is that sarcasm?” “Irony, I think.” “What’s the difference?” “I haven’t the slightest idea.” “So you’re being ironic now, right?” “No, I really don’t know.” “Maybe you should ask the idiot.” “Now you’ve got it.” “What?” “Sarcasm. ↗

— Christopher Moore

#irony #sarcasm #humor

They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit," Valkyrie said. China glanced at her. "They've obviously never met me. ↗

— Derek Landy

#humor #sarcasm #skuldugerry-pleasant #wit #humor

If you say ‘we’re in this together,’ I’m going to hurl. ↗

— Kelley Armstrong

#sarcasm #humor

I am in full possession of the amazing power of being sarcastic. ↗

— Sarah Rees Brennan

#sarcasm #humor

the [coat] rack above his head like a javelin. On the other side of the door was Jace. He blinked. "Is that a coatrack?" Jordan slammed the coatrack down on the ground and sighed. "If you'd been a vampire, this would have been a lot more useful." "Yes," said Jace. "Or, you know, just someone with a lot of coats. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#jace #mortal-instruments #sarcasm #humor

Hey, Carlos," the Professor says when he walks in. "How was REACH?" "It sucked." "Can you be more specific?" my guardian asks. "It really sucked," I elaborate, sarcasm dripping from every word. ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#humor #perfect-chemistry #sarcasm #humor

The earl shook his head, exhibiting a degree of frosty offense that could only be achieved by an aristocrat whose wishes had just been gainsaid. “I’ve never heard of a man being so eager to confess to the parent of a girl he’s just ruined,” he said sourly. ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#sarcasm #humor

Should I pull on a shirt?" he asked with hint of amusement. I WILL NOT BLUSH. "No." He'd be doing the world a favor if he never wore a shirt again, but I wasn't going to tell him that part. "You're fine. ↗

— Gena Showalter

#sarcasm #humor