#sarcasm

Avoid sarcasm. Don't insist on the last word. ↗

— Ford Frick

#insist #last #sarcasm #word

I suppose the latest thing is to sit back and let Mr. Nobody from Nowhere make love to your wife. ↗

— F. Scott Fitzgerald

#funny-quotes #gatsby #love #sarcasm #tom

We are suffering from too much sarcasm. ↗

— Marianne Moore

#sarcasm #suffering #too #too much

You've read half the books in this house? This whole house?" "Well, approximately half." Sticky said. "To be more accurate, I suppose I've read more like" - his eyes went up as he calculated - "three sevenths? Yes, three sevenths." "Only three sevenths?" said Kate, pretending to look disappointed. "And here I was prepared to be impressed. ↗

— Trenton Lee Stewart

#funny #reading #sarcasm #funny

All right,” she said a little sarcastically. “I was going to assume you liked eating babies and sacrificing virgins, but I might as well ask, what do you do for fun?” “I languish in sin,” I replied in the same tone. “I take my babies rare, and my virgins over easy. ↗

— Nenia Campbell

#dark #humor #michael #sarcasm #humor

Young people, nowadays, imagine that money is everything. Yes, murmured Lord Henry, settling his button-hole in his coat; and when they grow older they know it. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#imagine #know #money #old #sarcasm

Gotta have my make up, in case I run into Joey and he wants to beat the shit out of me. Gotta look my best! Maybe he'll punch me repeatedly in the kidneys and the stomach so it doesn't mark up my face. He's so thoughtful! ↗

— George Carlin

#sarcasm #humor

Desjani pulled out a ration bar. 'Hungry?' she asked Geary. 'I had something earlier. Is that a Yanika Babiya?' 'No. It’s . . .' She squinted at the label. 'Spicy chicken curry.' 'A chicken curry ration bar? How are they?' Taking a small bite, Desjani chewed slowly, pretending not to be aware that everyone on the bridge was watching her instead of staring at the representation of the alien hypernet gate. 'It’s definitely got curry in it. Spicy, not so much. Some of the other stuff tastes like chicken.' 'That doesn’t narrow it down too much, does it?' Geary said. 'Every kind of meat in a ration bar tastes like chicken, Captain,' Lieutenant Castries suggested. 'Except the chicken.' 'You’re right, Lieutenant,' Desjani said. 'Real chicken in ration bars tastes like, what, mutton?' 'Ham,' Yuon tossed in. 'Bad ham.' 'So this can’t be chicken because it tastes like chicken,' Desjani concluded. ↗

— Jack Campbell

#sarcasm #humor

Let me guess - you're Grumpy?' He let out a humpf. ' And you would be too, if you'd just spent the last hour searching the forest for your wayward charge.' He walked even faster. 'We tell you to stay inside, we tell you not to talk to strangers. But oh no, you must be out singing to the animals as if the birds didn't do a fine enough job of it. And this after Queen Neferia has already tried to kill you thrice. [...] Which is why you are not to go shopping anymore, no matter how pretty the wares, remember?' Oh, right.' [...] when you looked at it that way, Snow White had to be pretty idiotic to keep falling for the same trick. ↗

— Janette Rallison

#grimm #sarcasm #snow-white #sarcasm

The Bibbidi Bobbidi Beautiful boutique, the name filled me with dread. ↗

— Jessica Fortunato

#sarcasm #wordplay #work #beauty