#sarcasm

She's my best friend, and I know she means well, but as she talks I'm mentally calculating all the ways I could silence her. I'm bigger than her... I wonder if I could use my straw for some sort of MacGyver inspired weapon. ↗

— Steph Campbell

#sarcasm #humor

This is what happened in love. One of you cried a lot and then both of you grew sarcastic. ↗

— Lorrie Moore

#relationships #sarcasm #life

You like? she asked Slade. He gave her a head nod and she vanished behind the curtain. That's my sister, he said, pointing at the closed curtain. I shrugged. "I'm glad you guys are so close. ↗

— Holly Hood

#love #paranomral-romance #sarcasm #witty #life

We all love each other, Ange," I said impatiently, hating this whole conversation. "No, not like this," she went on relentlessly. "Fang loves you."......My mouth dropped open. How does she know this stuff? "Forget it! No one's getting married!" I hissed. "Not in New Hampshire or anywhere else! Not in a box, not with a fox! Now go to sleep, before I kill you! Oh yeah, like I got any sleep after that. - pg 35 ↗

— James Patterson

#max #sarcasm #love

Yeah, I was just curious. I concentrated on my footsteps. Yeah, well, next time you think about stepping into rock concerts you might want to bring a bodyguard. I stopped and turned around. I brought my hands to my hips, a bit offended. What is that supposed to mean? He dropped the end of the bat into the sand. It means your small. ↗

— Holly Hood

#love #sarcasm #love

I don't understand German myself. I learned it at school, but forgot every word of it two years after I had left, and have felt much better ever since. ↗

— Jerome K. Jerome

#german #humor #sarcasm #men

Do dead people like music? I hope they listen to mine if they do, in their coffins, in the cold underworld, between the mind and the body in an insomniac wall of sleep. ↗

— Marc Broude

#musician #sarcasm #weird #music

Well, it just figures," Younger told him, like a man explaining his religion. ↗

— Richard Stark

#sarcasm #religion

Who the hell is that?! Some call her Satan. Others, Beelzebub. She goes by many names. ↗

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

#romance #sarcasm #nature

Andrew just shrugged, and I fiddled with the napkin in my lap while glancing idly around the restaurant. The obligatory mirrors hung on the walls, and there was one of those fountains with fake lily pads in the entryway. The restaurant was also lit like a mine shaft. I've never understood why dim lighting is supposed to be so romantic. Night vision belongs into a Paris Hilton sex tape - not in a restaurant that could potentially poison me with peanut sauce. ↗

— Alicia Thompson

#restaurants #sarcasm #romantic