#santa

A Dutch parent has a decidedly hairier story to relate, telling his children, 'Listen, you might want to pack a few of your things together before going to bed. The former bishop of Turkey will be coming tonight along with six to eight black men. They might put some candy in your shoes, they might stuff you into a sack and take you to Spain, or they might just pretend to kick you. We don't know for sure, but we want you to be prepared. ↗

— David Sedaris

#humor #santa-claus #family

So I've started wearing sweatpants to bed because I really don't need Santa seeing me in my underwear. ↗

— Jeff Kinney

#santa #sleep #behavior

Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year. ↗

— Victor Borge

#claus #idea #once #only #people

Ronald has had bicycle safety and safety in the home. Yes, Ronald is McDonald's, second most recognised figure after Santa Claus, and there's an element of obviously benefiting your business. ↗

— Jim Cantalupo

#benefiting #bicycle #business #claus #element

Santa was a fake. ↗

— Stephen Lawrence

#santa

My husband and I are building a 'green' house in Santa Ynez Valley. We bought 15 acres and we're going to build a house that's green from the ground up. ↗

— Jennie Garth

#bought #build #building #going #green

For the past two years, President Obama has promised our children the moon, stars, rainbows, unicorns and universal health care for all. But the White House Santa's cradle-to-grave entitlement mandates are a spectacularly predictable bust. ↗

— Michelle Malkin

#care #children #entitlement #health #health care

When Tim Allen made The Santa Clause, I thought that was a delightful film. It took a modern sensibility but layered onto it a kind of sentiment. ↗

— Leonard Maltin

#clause #delightful #film #i #kind

Democracy is only a dream: it should be put in the same category as Arcadia, Santa Claus, and Heaven. ↗

— H. L. Mencken

#claus #democracy #dream #heaven #only

Santa Barbara is my hood. I mean, it's not much of a hood, but it is definitely like my hood. I claim Santa Barbara like I claim my family. I'm going to be married and buried there. ↗

— Katy Perry

#buried #claim #definitely #family #going