#santa

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. ↗

— Steven Wright

#claus #got #missing #moved #now

If we talk about the environment, for example, we have to talk about environmental racism - about the fact that kids in South Central Los Angeles have a third of the lung capacity of kids in Santa Monica. ↗

— Danny Glover

#angeles #capacity #central #environment #environmental

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark. ↗

— Dick Gregory

#because #believed #claus #come #dark

A good many things go around in the dark besides Santa Claus. ↗

— Herbert Hoover

#besides #claus #dark #go #good

Let's be naughty and save Santa the trip. ↗

— Gary Allan

#naughty #santa #save #trip

A Dutch parent has a decidedly hairier story to relate, telling his children, 'Listen, you might want to pack a few of your things together before going to bed. The former bishop of Turkey will be coming tonight along with six to eight black men. They might put some candy in your shoes, they might stuff you into a sack and take you to Spain, or they might just pretend to kick you. We don't know for sure, but we want you to be prepared. ↗

— David Sedaris

#humor #santa-claus #family

So I've started wearing sweatpants to bed because I really don't need Santa seeing me in my underwear. ↗

— Jeff Kinney

#santa #sleep #behavior

Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year. ↗

— Victor Borge

#claus #idea #once #only #people

Ronald has had bicycle safety and safety in the home. Yes, Ronald is McDonald's, second most recognised figure after Santa Claus, and there's an element of obviously benefiting your business. ↗

— Jim Cantalupo

#benefiting #bicycle #business #claus #element

Santa was a fake. ↗

— Stephen Lawrence

#santa