#s

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today's tasks. ↗

— Holly Black

#funny #ironside #funny

If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you. ↗

— Steven Wright

#funny #skydiving #funny

I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days. ↗

— Jon Stewart

#always #been #canada #could #country

We should trust people to be exactly what they have proven themselves to be, no more and no less. ↗

— Ryan Winfield

#love #trust #friendship

I can't eat and I can't sleep. I'm not doing well in terms of being a functional human, you know? ↗

— Ned Vizzini

#sadness #suicide #funny

I'm done with those; regrets are an excuse for people who have failed. ↗

— Ned Vizzini

#living #moving-on #regrets #funny

I want to gather up all the ink cartridges in the universe, because somewhere, mixed in with all that ink, is the next great American novel. And I’d love nothing more than to drink it. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#america #drink #funny #humor #love

Sane is boring. ↗

— R.A. Salvatore

#crazy #forgotten-realms #funny #humor #jarlaxle

I've had great success being a total idiot. ↗

— Jerry Lewis

#great #great success #had #i #idiot

Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking. ↗

— Dave Barry

#humour #jokes #funny