#rot

The Reformer is always right about what's wrong. However, he's often wrong about what is right. ↗

— G.K. Chesterton

#christianity #humor #protestantism #reformation #religion

I'm going to stay here and see if he comes back," Wrath said as the double doors opened and V strode in. "I want the rest of you out searching for him in the city, but before you go, first let's get an update from our very own Katie Couric." He nodded at Vishous. "Katie?" V's glare was the ocular version of a fully extended middle finger ↗

— J.R. Ward

#humor #wrath #humor

I'm never going to believe a Poirot mystery again. Never. All those witnesses going, "Yes, I remember it was 3:06 p.m. exactly, because I glanced at the clock as I reached for the sugar tongs, and Lady Favisham was quite clearly sitting on the right-hand side of the fireplace." Bollocks. They have no idea where Lady Favisham was, they just don't want to admit it in front of Poirot. I'm amazed he gets anywhere. ↗

— Sophie Kinsella

#humor #poirot #humor

So, what are you doing with my little sister today?” Daniel asked. I closed my eyes in defeat. “I’m afraid I can’t ruin the surprise,” Noah said. “But I promise I’ll return her intact.” He did not just say that. Daniel cackled ↗

— Michelle Hodkin

#embarrassment #humor #humor

Oh, adorable, delicious Amelie. If I weren't so completely straight and enamored with cock, I would devour this sweet little tart. ↗

— Ella Dominguez

#humorous-quotations #humor

If you lie there much longer, I’ll be tempted to tie you to the table legs and try buttering your ass instead of the toast. ↗

— Cari Silverwood

#humor #sexy #humor

It felt like he’d been dragged through the nine circles of hell — by his testicles. ↗

— Kay Berrisford

#erotica #fantasy #humor #m-m-paranormal #m-m-romance

Gallows humor is part of having a doctor in the house. Deal with it. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#humor #lover-enshrined #medicine #humor

I don't want anything to happen to you. You being hurt...that thought fills me with dread. I can't promise not to interfere, not if I think you'll come to harm." He pauses and takes a deep breath. "I love you, Anastasia. I will do everything in my power to protect you. I cann't imagine my life without you. ↗

— E.L. James

#harm #hurt #imagine #life #love

Fear can be a potent aphrodisiac. ↗

— Kele Moon

#erotic-romance #fear #love #love