#ron

[Or perhaps my friends should have realized that they shouldn't have left behind the FRICKING REASON FOR THEIR PROTEST! And that thought just cracked me up.] It was like my friends had walked over the backs of baby seals in order to get to the beach where they could protest against the slaughter of baby seals. ↗

— Sherman Alexie

#dark-humor #funny #irony #misguided-protest #protest

All the electronic devices are powered by white smoke. When smoke goes out, device is dead. ↗

— Milan Nikolic

#funny #funny

The lawn is the last suburban frontier. It separates us from the corruption of the street and its triker gangs. When drive-by shootings occur, our grass gets a shower instead of our windows getting water-stains. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #gangs #humor #lawns #shootings

There are wonders to behold in our world that few will ever experience…Wonders capable of providing an artist inspiration for a lifetime; Wonders to make the world into a place of beauty, and wonders that show us the connections we all share. We each enter our lives like a drop of water into a still ocean, spreading out with each experience in waves, touching the lives of each and every person we meet; and they, in turn, share their lives and experiences with us. ↗

— Alex G. Zarate

#cat-rule-chronicles #echoes-of-innocence #linked #ripples-of-mind #beauty

We are not special. We are not innovative. We do not push the limits. We are small. Pathetic. Infinity lies before us. Right in front of our eyes. Look up! It's right there! Taunting you with its blue beauty. Space; an endless continuum to explore. And we choose to stay here. We are that scared nerdy kid in his apartment on Friday nights. We are not living. We are regressing. Inventing the wrong things...to steer us away from the real entertainment. Nature, space, the heavens. ↗

— B.S. Wood

#cosmos #exploration #explore #nasa #nature

Kids. You gotta love them. I adore children. A little salt, a squeeze of lemon--perfect. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #kids #storm_front #humor

Hell's bells, irony blows. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #irony #humor

Cam's wings were so bright they were almost blinding as they pulsed. "Holy Hell," Callie whispered, blinking. "More or less," Arriane said ↗

— Lauren Kate

#fallen #fallen-angels #humor #ironic #sarcasm

rolf! what? are you really rolling on the floor laughing? well, please stay down there for a sec while I KICK YOUR ASS. ↗

— David Levithan

#acronyms #emoticons #humor #internet-slang #humor

Look, Laszlo. I'll have the dentist with me, and I don't want to alarm her any more than necessary. So take Vanna out of the backseat and stick her in the trunk." Shanna halted. Her mouth dropped open. Her throat seized up, making it hard to breathe. I don't care how much crap you have in the trunk. We're not driving around with a naked body in the car." Oh no! She gasped for air. He was a hit man. ↗

— Kerrelyn Sparks

#irony #humor