#ridiculous

I've met them down in the Cost and Accounting Department, clean-shaven and in white collars. They can't see a damn thing ridiculous about themselves... only about you. ↗

— Jean Shepherd

#accounting #collars #cost #damn #damn thing

The claim that the World Trade Center and the Pentagon were attacked because fundamentalists hate our prosperity and freedom is a ridiculous lie. ↗

— L. Neil Smith

#because #center #claim #freedom #fundamentalists

The criminal law needs to be improved to meet new forms of crime, but to denounce financial devices which are useful and legitimate because use is made of them for fraud, is ridiculous and unworthy of the age in which we live. ↗

— William Graham Sumner

#because #crime #criminal #criminal law #denounce

I'm also a fan of ridiculously coloured and patterned socks. ↗

— Daniel Radcliffe

#coloured #fan #i #patterned #ridiculously

It's incredible, ridiculous really, isn't it? You realise you can make more money on the golf tour in one week than some people make in a lifetime. ↗

— Rory McIlroy

#incredible #lifetime #make #money #more

I tell people I'm too stupid to know what's impossible. I have ridiculously large dreams, and half the time they come true. ↗

— Debi Thomas

#come #half #i #impossible #know

A wife is a friend first, a lover second, and third and probably most important, a maid. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #love #ridiculous #wife

I’d love to create a personal profile on a dating site with a headline that reads, “Great Listener Seeks Mute Woman. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dating #funny #humor #one-liner #ridiculous

Dear Edmond, While you were sleeping this afternoon, I was busy hustling around town. You see, when I woke up early this morning to clean the apartment for the party tonight, I noticed that all your furniture was missing. And by all, I do mean everything. So I raced around town trying to replace all your pieces. Fortunately, I did manage to pick up some new furniture. It looks exactly like your old furniture, only you're still missing the armoire that your grandmother left you in her will. But the great thing is they have one that looks exactly like your grandmother's armoire at the pawn shop just up the road. But there was some random good news today. In the cushions of the new sofa, the one that looks exactly like your old sofa, I found about $500 dollars. So I took the liberty of loading up the liquor cabinet and buying a keg. But I don't want you to be depressed about your armoire, or worry about paying me back for buying you all new furniture. Just promise me you'll have a good time at the party. And since I know that you are disappointed about having to pick up another armoire at the pawn shop, I won't even make you go half with me on the booze. I wouldn't dream of it. Friends help friends out when they are in need, right? I couldn't possibly accept $250 dollars from you. But I know how you are. You won't accept any gifts, right? You're so freaking stubborn. Well, if you really want to pay me back, you can slip the money in an envelope under my door after the party tonight. We're going to have a crazy night tonight! So cheer up, buddy. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#comical #funny #humor #party #ridiculous

I don't like customer service, because I don't believe the customer should have to pay and help out too. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#customer-service #love #ridiculous #work #love