#rid

To the potluck I brought something I randomly found in my fridge. It was the source of the stink.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#fridge #funny-humor #potluck #random #stink

My friend opened a small box which Lestrade had produced. Inside lay a beautiful silver cigarette case monogrammed with Holmes's initials, underneath which ran the words, "With the Respects of Scotland Yard, November 1888." Sherlock Holmes sat with his lips parted, but no sound emerged. "Thank you," he managed at length. ↗

— Lyndsay Faye

#lestrade #pride #sherlock-holmes #beauty

I stood my ground. "You evil scientist are all the same--evil. Count me out." Fang and I brushed past Mr. God and walked quickly but smoothly to the exit. It was barely noon, and I'd already made a huge enemy. Dang, I'm good. ↗

— James Patterson

#humor #maximum-ride #maxride #humor

Hate. Huh. He'd never hated himself. If anything, he'd always liked himself a little too much. Once, a human female had even accused him of picturing his own face while he climaxed. He hadn't denied it, either, and next time he'd slept with her, he'd made sure to scream, "Strider" at the pivotal moment." --Strider, keeper of the demon of Defeat-- ↗

— Gena Showalter

#demon #ego #gena-showalter #humor #romance

Listen, street punk. You're a guy, and you're a couple inches taller, and maybe forty pounds heavier, and ooh, you're in a gang. But I've survived ten years of Catholic school, and I will cut you off at your knees without a blink. Do you understand? ↗

— James Patterson

#humor #maxride #ratchet #star #humor

I AM NOT PAYING FOR SOME CRACKPOT OLD FOOL TO TEACH HIM MAGIC TRICKS!" yelled Uncle Vernon. Hagrid seized his pink umbrella and whirled it over his head "NEVER -" he thundered "- INSULT -ALBUS -DUMBLEDORE - IN - FRONT - OF - ME! ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#hagrid #humor #uncle-vernon #humor

Yes, vanity is a weakness indeed. But pride - where there is a real superiority of mind, pride will be always under good regulation. ↗

— Jane Austen

#mr-darcy #pride #humor

It was heaven. Forget angels, forget St. Peter and glittering harpsichords. Heaven was a dance in the arms of one's true love. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#julia-quinn #romance #love

As he left Chinatown behind, Alan thought of the woman he’d seen on the wharf the other day, the golden splendor of her gown, her glossy hair and the turbulent emotion in her eyes. He wondered what she was doing right now and if she’d found happiness in her new home. ↗

— Bonnie Dee

#bonnie-dee #captive-bride #home

If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be? ↗

— Steven Wright

#riddle #humor