#ric

How did you get in?" "I move in mysterious ways." "God moves in mysterious ways. You move like lightning - here one moment, gone the next. ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#funny #hush-hush #mysterious-ways #nora-and-patch #nora-grey

So, Americans, then. Self-appointed vigilante defenders of the world, kind of like Superman, if Superman was retarded and only fought crime when he felt like it. ↗

— Yahtzee Croshaw

#americans #funny #superheroes #funny

Here it comes," she said with an expression of pure bliss. "Drug rush ... any moment now ... the surge of warmth ... bye-bye, Mr. Pain..." "Vee-" "Knock, knock." "This is really important-" "Knock, knock." "It's about Elliot-" "Knock, knoooock," she said in a singsong voice. I sighed. "Who's there?" "Boo." "Boo who?" "Boo-hoo, somebody's crying, and it's not me!" She broke into hysterical laughter. ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#funny #hush-hush #nora-and-vee #nora-grey #vee-sky

Do you think they're going to buy that a guy in tacky leather chaps dances like this?" I scoffed when he twirled me back into his embrace. "Keep it up, and I'll put you in the chaps." He didn't smile, but I sensed an undercurrent of amusement. ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#funny #hush-hush #leather-chaps #nora-and-patch #nora-grey

A brick could be used as a measurement of time. Yes, just think how stylish you’ll look with a brick duct taped to your wrist!
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket #funny #humor #random #strange

Ha," I said. "Oh, ha-ha. Yeah, ’cause they love me. You see how many vampires are up here? Zero, right?" One," said Eric, stepping out of the stairwell. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#quinn #sookie-stackhouse #vampire #love

Asia is an entertainment, Europe is a dream, America is an imprisonment and Rest is a nightmare. ↗

— Santosh Kalwar

#asia #countries #europe #funny #joke

Unless the object of the singer’s affection is a vampire, surely what Hart means is unphotogenic. Only vampires are unphotographable, but affectionate ‘-enic’ rhymes are hard to come by. ↗

— Stephen Sondheim

#lyricism #my-funny-valentine #rhymes #songwriting #valentine

Remove yourself, sir! ↗

— David McCullough

#david-mccullough #funny #history #john-adams #funny

You're lips are bloody.' He seized my face in both hands and kissed me. It's hard not to respond when a master of the art of kissing is laying one on you. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#eric-northman #kissing #living-dead-in-dallas #sookie-stackhouse #art