#ria

She’s my mate; that makes her mine. Forgetting that will see your neck no longer serving its purpose.” “I love it when you talk dirty,” she purred. “Give my regards to Lindsay. ↗

— Sylvia Day

#lindsay #vashti #love

Me and my grandma are getting married. Just not to each other. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#grandma #marriage #married #funny

Somehow, having a deer preside over the ceremony of a werewolf and a girl seems oddly appropriate. ↗

— Maggie Stiefvater

#funny #humor #marriage #funny

I was thinking we could get a picture of you holding a pitchfork or something. Maybe a big wooden cross? Sound good?"(Brian) She stared at him. He lifted his hands and leaned back in his seat, as if he was afraid she might start spitting on him. "Hey, only joking." "Very funny." "Oh, I do love jokes." Greyson Dante stood by her side. "Hello, Mr. Dante. I'm afraid this is a private conversation, so you will, of course, be going now." His grin widened. Was there no way to insult the man? ↗

— Stacia Kane

#greyson #megan #personal-demons #stacia-kane #funny

A loyal American wife should never be without a gun in her purse, just in case her husband turns traitor. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #loyalty #marriage #treachery #funny

The only thing more amorous than pretending to be marriage partners is pretending to be capitalist ones. Money is less essential for success in capitalism than in marriage, so you can amuse yourself without worry. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #love #marriage #money

I want to be more than a rose in my husband's lapel. ↗

— Margaret Trudeau

#marriage #women #life

Friend, we are well met indeed. I think we are a pair of fools and that we should hasten to Nildren's Peak, where I shall buy ye such a dinner as even your great frame will find sufficient. And then we shall see who can drink the other under the table. Is that good by ye? ↗

— Ian Livingstone

#barbarians #carl-sargent #dwarves #funny #ian-livingstone

My marriage is crumbling and this hat is all I have left in the world - aside from my brilliant wit, my dastardly good looks, and my charming accent. ↗

— Bauvard

#hats #humor #marriage #funny

Again I entered my smithy to work and forge something from the noble material of time past. ↗

— Jean Froissart

#entered #forge #i #material #noble