#retort

Interviewer: 'So Frank, you have long hair. Does that make you a woman?' Frank Zappa: 'You have a wooden leg. Does that make you a table? ↗

— Frank Zappa

#humor #retort #humor

An old battleax of a woman said to Winston Churchill, "If you were my husband I would put poison in your tea." Churchill's response, "Ma'am if you were my wife I would drink it. ↗

— Winston Churchill

#humor #humour #retort #humor

There is, I believe, in every disposition a tendency to some particular evil, a natural defect, which not even the best education can overcome." "And your defect is a propensity to hate everybody." "And yours," he replied with a smile, "is wilfully to misunderstand them. ↗

— Jane Austen

#defects #dislike #education #hatred #misunderstanding

I don't know how you persist in being so stubborn-" "It's a superpower. I was bitten by a radioactive mule. ↗

— Shannon Hale

#retort #sarcasm #stubborn #superpower #humor

Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
 ↗

— Winston Churchill

#drunkenness #retort #classics