#rca

Ok, let me just write that down for you since you seem to think I'm you personal assistant," Sally responded, her tone clipped. "You ever noticed how assistant starts with ass? Do you think that's a coincidence?" Jen shrugged her shoulders as she raised her eyebrows at Sally. ↗

— Quinn Loftis

#humor

Too young,too young,she chanted to herself. Wrong,of course. I was older than her grandfather but according to my driver's license,she was right. ↗

— Stephenie Meyer

#humor

Sarcasm is when you tell someone the truth by lying on purpose. ↗

— Chuck Klosterman

#humor #lies #lying #sarcasm #truth

We all make mistakes. Luckily for us, there are very few mistakes that cant be solved with a suitable application of either lipstick or hand grenades" - Frances Brown ↗

— Seanan McGuire

#humor

Kaitlyn froze and then said in a low tone, "That'd better be your gun." "Why yes, I always pack my gun where it'll blow my balls off."[Landon] ↗

— Patrice Michelle

#sarcasm #humor

Nobody should have to die to a crappy soundtrack ↗

— James R. Tuck

#sarcastic-humor #humor

Alessa looked at Brennus giving him a smirk. “Brennus.” “Alessa.” “Still think that you are the God’s gift to all faeries?” “Still trying to convince yourself that I am not?” Brennus responded smirking arrogantly and leaning back in his chair. ↗

— B.C. Morin

#sarcasm #humor

What is your collective GPA for this year?” “Not as high as I'd like it to be.” Freud steepled his fingers in front of his mouth. “What about your parents?” “I don't know. They haven't been in school for a while. ↗

— Nenia Campbell

#interrogation #sarcasm #humor

How touching. I think I'm gonna throw up. ↗

— Joss Stirling

#sarcasm-humor #humor

She never saw the point of making fun of strangers – how could you possibly know enough about them to hit below the belt? ↗

— Daniel Marks

#humorous-quotations #sarcasm #humor