#rca

I got into therapy in the fifth grade because I said in a sarcastic way that I was going to kill myself, and they didn't get it then. Nothing's changed. ↗

— Fiona Apple

#changed #fifth #get #going #got

The mercantile business did not suit me. ↗

— John James Audubon

#did #me #mercantile #suit

We seem to have set up some very arcane rules as to when it is actually OK to applaud. ↗

— Emanuel Ax

#applaud #arcane #ok #rules #seem

I'm very used to playing the tomboy or the sarcastic cynic. That's my go-to. Playing the vulnerable of a real girl that's in real womanlike situations, where it's romanticized, I'm a little nervous about it. ↗

— Kristen Bell

#cynic #girl #i #little #nervous

Satan impregnated my mother one lovely spring morning. We didn’t have the heart to tell my father. ↗

— Holly Hood

#family #funny #life #sarcasm #family

Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. ↗

— E.L. James

#wit

What should I have known or written had I been a quiet, mercantile politician or a lord in waiting? A man must travel, and turmoil, or there is no existence. ↗

— George Byron

#existence #had #i #known #lord

Sarcasm: the last refuge of modest and chaste-souled people when the privacy of their soul is coarsely and intrusively invaded. ↗

— Fyodor Dostoevsky

#last #modest #people #privacy #refuge

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. ↗

— John Erskine

#language #mean #music #only #sarcastic

If history teaches us anything, it’s that governments are always right, and they always do what’s in the best interest of the people, even at the expense of their own political agenda. In every situation, the answer is always more government and more regulation. If there are six billion people in the world, then all six billion should work for the government. More, if we could. And there should be at least twice as many laws as there are people in the world. And with more laws means more lawyers, so it’s a double benefit. It’s a win-win for both the government and the citizens, which of course there won’t be because in this utopian dream there are no citizens, there is only the government. The best part is the taxes will be super high, but they’re paid in full by the printing presses of the Geodesic Dome Society. Full benefits, zero unemployment, no chance of being fired, and a world so efficient it would make Rube Goldberg look like Fred Taylor or Henry Ford. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #governments #history #sarcastic #dreams