#rca

I've given her signs! I've given her plenty of signs. What does she want me to do? Slap him across the face with my glove, and challenge him to pistols at dawn? ↗

— Molly Ringle

#fights #humor #love #sarcasm #love

Oh, for the love of God. There is no agent more agent than you. I swear you have pin-striped ties encrypted into your DNA. When you die, the coffin is going to read Property of the FBI. ↗

— Lisa Gardner

#humor #sarcasm #love

In 1803, President Jefferson oversaw the purchase of this land from the French for $15 million. It doesn't sound like much for an area three times the size of France itself but given that they'd stolen it from the Native Americans in the first place, I suppose they couldn't grumble. Once some debts had been wiped and estate agents had taken their commission, Napoleon's France ended up pocketing a little more than $8 million. Which is about how much it cost Pepsi Cola to secure the services of Britney Spears. Times have changed. ↗

— Dave Gorman

#humor #sarcasm #change

Most of the people you read about being turned meet vamps in clubs or over the Internet...Ew, did you...?" "Yes, I met a vampire on the Internet, went to his evil love den, and let him turn me, because I'm that brainless. ↗

— Molly Harper

#internet #jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs #sarcasm

Se è tardi a trovarmi, insisti, se non ci sono in un posto, cerca in un altro, perché io son fermo da qualche parte ad aspettare te. ↗

— Walt Whitman

#cercare #finding-love #love #waiting #waiting-for-you

Sookie: He's your maker isn't he? Eric: Dont use words you dont understand. Sookie: You have a lot of love for him. Eric: Don't use words I don't understand." (Sookie and Eric's conversation about Godric, from True Blood season 2) ↗

— True Blood

#humorous #love #sarcastic #love

I was planning to end this phase after a few weeks, but after one particular meeting, the lead advisor asked me not to come back. She said she'd noticed that every time I was asked to give a suggestion about an ex-husband to a grieving divorcee, I always said, "You should have him murdered. ↗

— Whitney Gracia Williams

#sarcasm #love

Guys like him? They were the worst kind. All looks and no heart. Guys not like him? They were all deceiving, freaking asshats. ↗

— Rucy Ban

#love #passion #sarcastic #sexy #witty

Don’t make me climb across this desk and slap you, because I will. ↗

— H.M. Ward

#fight #humor #love #sarcasm #love

Most wives fuck their husbands, just to ensure financial support. Marriage is just a form of legalized prostitution, when you really thought about it. ↗

— K. Syrah

#witty #marriage