#random

We made up, and I knew just how to do that. I told her, “I feel like dancing. Let me grab my dancing shoes and stick-on mustache (better to tickle your vagina with).” And she replied, “My vagina already has its own mustache. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#random #funny

EAT SANDWICH, NOT OWN MOUTH. ↗

— Lauren Conrad

#humor #funny

A brick can be used to represent the zero probability of this book being any good. ↗

— Amy Summers

#brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny #humor

A blanket is great for covering things, like the dead guy, I just killed with this brick. ↗

— Nicole McKay

#brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny #humor

A brick could used as a dagger, much like a blanket could be used to cool off after a heated argument. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Jesse is a good guy, although I don't understand the infatuation with the spandex he is always running around in. ↗

— Holly Hood

#funny

I’d never name my kid Mark, for fear he’d be a target—a mark.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #funny #humor #random #random-thought

It's sometimes the random people that say things that aren't so nice, but that's okay. ↗

— Matt Emmons

#okay #people #random #say #sometimes

I go through stages. Randomly, I'll be attracted to a crazy rocker with tattoos. And I find that I'm extremely attracted to ambition and wit. ↗

— Ashley Greene

#attracted #crazy #extremely #find #go

When I'm deciding to read a book, I never open to the first chapter, because that's been revised and worked over 88 times. I'll just turn to the middle of the book, to the middle of a chapter, and just read a random page and I'll know right away whether this is the real deal or not. ↗

— Carl Hiaasen

#because #been #book #chapter #deal