#random

A brick could be used as a hammer, which frees up the hammer to be used as a sex toy. The only question is, Which end will you insert? If you’re a politician, I’d recommend the one with the hooks.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

That’s a federal crime,” I told him. “Punishable by three to five years in a minimum-security prison. You’ll get passed around like condiments at a barbeque.” “My hole is already quivering,” he said. ↗

— T.J. Klune

#funny

A brick can be used as a counting device, particularly if you only need to count up to one.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be dropped on your mother-in-law’s head from the height of 66.6 feet. You know, as a going away present. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket #funny #humor #random #strange

That proves you are unusual,' returned the Scarecrow; 'and I am convinced that the only people worthy of consideration in this world are the unusual ones. For the common folks are like the leaves of a tree, and live and die unnoticed. ↗

— L. Frank Baum

#random #inspirational

The following Wednesday, I opted to go with Random House. ↗

— Laura Hillenbrand

#go #house #i #opted #random

Goals transform a random walk into a chase. ↗

— Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

#goals #into #random #transform #walk

The visa lottery system poses a national security threat. Under the program, each successful applicant is chosen at random and given the status of permanent resident based on pure luck. ↗

— Bob Goodlatte

#chosen #each #given #lottery #luck

Tolstoy to Gandhi to Martin Luther King to Me and You ↗

— Brooke Bida

#ann-anarchsit #changeagents #libertarian-ann #love #new-age

A brick could be used as a Sexual Orientation Device. But I don’t need it, because I know my sexual orientation—north!
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny