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#random

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #random




The concept of randomness and coincidence will be obsolete when people can finally define a formulation of patterned interaction between all things within the universe.


Toba Beta


#define #formulation #interaction #life #mystery

Now you got us whammied with the curse of squirmy death.


Richard Laymon


#humor #random #death

We all must die, but only I put the “must” in mustard. Sadly, the only man alive who understands what I mean is dead. RIP Mitch Ketchup.


Jarod Kintz


#death #funny #random #death

A brick is what the aliens gave me to communicate with them. It’s easy to operate. Just go to a party, or any crowded location, place the brick on your head, and stand perfectly still until they open up lines of communication. If you talk to Egbok Wangor, tell him I want the twenty bucks he owes me—and I’ll even give you a twenty percent collector’s fee.



Jarod Kintz


#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

When she offered me a spot of tea, I said, “No thanks, I’ve already got a spot of tea on my shirt.”



Jarod Kintz


#funny #hospitality #humor #random #random-thought

When someone says so-and-so’s opinionated, what’s that mean? Aren’t we all opinionated? Show me one person with no opinions, and I’ll show you a bowl of Jell-O—or a politician, whichever one’s dumber.



Jarod Kintz


#funny #humor #politicians #politics #random

Every sex noise can be converted into a note and frozen in a can of soda. Ask me about menstruation music today! 



Jarod Kintz


#convert #drink #frozen #funny #humor

My shadow falling over a spot of land always increases its real estate value. Buy it now, because at high noon, all value will vanish.



Jarod Kintz


#funny #humor #noon #random #random-thought

Western man has tried for too many centuries to fool himself that he lives in a rational world. No. There's a story about a man who, while walking along the street, was almost hit on the head and killed by an enormous falling beam. This was his moment of realization that he did not live in a rational world but a world in which men's lives can be cut off by a random blow on the head, and the discovery shook him so deeply that he was impelled to leave his wife and children, who were the major part of his old, rational world. My own response to the wild unpredictability of the universe has been to write stories, to play the piano, to read, listen to music, look at paintings - not that the world may become explainable and reasonable but that I may rejoice in the freedom which unaccountability gives us.


Madeleine L'Engle


#randomness #freedom

I don’t worry about identity theft, because I don’t even know who I am as a person. So if I’m not even in possession of my own identity, how can it be stolen from me?



Jarod Kintz


#bizarre #funny #humor #random #random-thought






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