#random

He was the firstborn Bridgerton of a firstborn Bridgerton of a firstborn Bridgerton eight times over. He had a dynastic responsibility to be fruitful and multiply. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#funny

I was the first in my peer group to get pregnant. All I craved was reassurance. I needed someone to tell me that all the seemingly random symptoms I had - weird things, such as excess saliva - were normal. And I was worried because I wasn't getting any morning sickness. ↗

— Heidi Murkoff

#because #craved #excess #first #get

It's funny how cucumber water can taste so much better than pickle juice, even though they come from the same source. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#funny #pickles #random #funny

Nature, I have constantly argued in my work, is the real superpower of this godless universe. It is the ultimate disposer of human fate, randomly recarving geography over 10,000-year epochs. ↗

— Camille Paglia

#constantly #epochs #fate #geography #godless

Our problems started in Dallas, when the fire-breathing sheep destroyed the King Tut exhibit. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#destruction #earthquakes #floods #funny #funny-and-random

My name is Davis Davis. And don’t call me Mr. Davis! How would you like it if I called you Mr. Archibald, or whatever your first name is? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #random #funny

...and Jack, who felt like he was on the cusp of being able to read minds and thought it would be all right if Luce wrote him down for that. ("I sense that you're okay with that, am I right?" He made a gun out of his fingers and clicked his tongue.) ↗

— Lauren Kate

#torment #funny

My smile wavers as I revert to my natural state of being: nervous and weird. ↗

— Stephanie Perkins

#introvert #weird #funny

Here’s a little jingle I wrote about mulch: Mulch--sprinkle, sprinkle, dance, dance, use it with a friend, and use it on your plants. (Not a paid advertisement by the mulching industry) ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dance #funny #jingle #random #silly

-Oh yes? Can you identify yourself? -Certainly. I'd know me anywhere. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#funny-and-random #humor #humorous #satire #wit