#random

Maybe life is random, but I doubt it. ↗

— Steven Tyler

#i #life #maybe #random

If You're Gonna Ride My Ass, At Least Pull My Hair! ↗

— S.C. Stephens

#funny

A brick could be used to bestow gratitude upon your favorite (or least favorite) politician. Let them know your approval level by giving them the gift that says both Thank You—and Fuck You.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#crazy #funny #funny-and-random #humor #love

Knocking the shrieking goblins aside like skittles ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#death

Natural selection is anything but random. ↗

— Richard Dawkins

#natural #natural selection #random #selection

Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you. ↗

— Princess Diana

#carry #day #expectation #kindness #knowledge

A sex trophy should be functional, and shaped like a dildo, yet decorative, and shaped like Ben Bernanke. Insert it in your ass as desired.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#decorative #functional #funny #humor #random

I was always playing the Hammond Organ back to front even during the days of the Nice, going back to 1968. Really what I was doing there, was choosing notes at random and trying to make some sense of them, improvising back to front. ↗

— Keith Emerson

#back #choosing #days #doing #during

The Internet is a big place where a lot of people can voice their opinions, and my mother chooses to pick fights with random people from all over the world who don't have the nicest things to say about me. ↗

— Chris Evans

#big #chooses #fights #internet #lot