#random

A brick could be used to represent society as a whole. But to represent society as a half, I’d recommend using either a full carton of half and half, or a half-full carton of whole milk.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Did you ever wish you had a book that would explain the full meaning of life's random happenings to you? ↗

— Mariko Tamaki

#life #random #humor

And I figured you'd drive a four-hour round-trip before giving up your car to someone else ↗

— Richelle Mead

#funny

The sky was as blue as orange could get. I love sunsets at noon, and forks disguised as spoons. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#random #sunsets #love

A blanket would be a great surface to print my new book on, so you could read it in bed while you’re having boring, obligatory sex with your spouse, who’s as dry and exciting as a sack of flour. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#books #boring #brick-and-blanket #funny #humor

so this crow comes and it starts quacking at us. ↗

— Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi

#funny-and-random #funny

Instead of Rock, Paper, Scissors, you could play Brick, Blanket, Action Fingers, in which brick cripples action fingers, blanket smothers brick and action fingers beats blanket. ↗

— Nicole McKay

#brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny #humor

Not that I don't appreciate the rescue," Holt said. "But I'm forced to ask, in the interest of self-preservation ... exactly how well armed are you right now? ↗

— Rachel Vincent

#random #funny

If you're heading downtown from Centeral Park, my advice is to take the subway. Flying pigs are faster but way more dangerous ↗

— Rick Riordan

#flying-pigs #funny-and-random #subways #funny

Walking down the beach alone at night when my headband flashlight has run out of batteries, and hearing sailors’ cries for help as their boats run up against the rocky coastline, and then getting a ticket from a policeman for improper lighthouse navigation behavior ↗

— Benson Bruno

#funny-and-random #lighthouse #shipwreck #funny