#rand

What do you want? Where's the goddamn ice I ordered? Where's the booze? There's a war on, man! People are being killed! ↗

— Hunter S. Thompson

#crazy #drugs #funny #random #funny

We made up, and I knew just how to do that. I told her, “I feel like dancing. Let me grab my dancing shoes and stick-on mustache (better to tickle your vagina with).” And she replied, “My vagina already has its own mustache. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#random #funny

EAT SANDWICH, NOT OWN MOUTH. ↗

— Lauren Conrad

#humor #funny

A brick can be used to represent the zero probability of this book being any good. ↗

— Amy Summers

#brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny #humor

A blanket is great for covering things, like the dead guy, I just killed with this brick. ↗

— Nicole McKay

#brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny #humor

A brick could used as a dagger, much like a blanket could be used to cool off after a heated argument. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Jesse is a good guy, although I don't understand the infatuation with the spandex he is always running around in. ↗

— Holly Hood

#funny

I’d never name my kid Mark, for fear he’d be a target—a mark.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #funny #humor #random #random-thought

The society killed Kendra." ... Don't mention it to Verl. He might dive into a chasm. ↗

— Brandon Mull

#fablehaven #humor #kendra #love #mull

Since the war, we're the only intelligent species left in the universe, therefore we think everything in this universe has to conform to our paradigm of what makes sense. Do you have any idea how arrogant that view is and on how little of this universe we base it? ↗

— Robert Buettner

#conformity #grand-picture #human-behavior #human-superiority #humankind