#rand

Oh, Caddy," said Saffron miserably. "I know. It's awful. But I'm going. We all should." "It will be so sad." "You have to be sad sometimes," said Caddy. "Whatever Dad says. He may be right. Granddad probably had totally lost his marbles, but I am still sad and I'm still going to the funeral. I shall be as unhappy as I like and I shall where black. ↗

— Hilary McKay

#grandfather #sad #sisters #family

How sweet the morning air is! See how that one little cloud floats like a pink feather from some gigantic flamingo. Now the red rim of the sun pushes itself over the London cloud-bank. It shines on a good many folk, but on none, I dare bet, who are on a stranger errand than you and I. How small we feel with our petty ambitions and strivings in the presence of the great elemental forces of Nature! ↗

— Arthur Conan Doyle

#london #morning #nature #petty-ambitions #sherlock-holmes

Dodie: "Mama, Jamie's up on the hill and he's f***g a goat!" Mama: "Well, it's Jamie's goat, ain't it?" -Peter Manso illustrates the brash wit pervasive in the Brando family with this exchange between Dodie Brando, Marlon's mother, and her mother in-law. ↗

— Peter Manso

#malon-brando #peter-manso #family

A football could be swapped out for a brick, to make family reunion football games more fun. But I’m calling it right now: I get to be quarterback.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Sleep with family is a napkin (nap plus kin), and I used a napkin as a blanket.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

I pee whilst seated. But it’s hard to focus with people honking at me.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #random #random-thought #silly

The day my dad left my mom and I was the second saddest day of my life. The saddest day was the next day, when he returned home.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dad #family #funny #humor #life

The president took the advice of my East Texas grandmother: If you can skin a cat without getting the room all bloody, why not do it that way? ↗

— Richard Land

#bloody #cat #east #getting #grandmother

When she offered me a spot of tea, I said, “No thanks, I’ve already got a spot of tea on my shirt.”
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #hospitality #humor #random #random-thought

When someone says so-and-so’s opinionated, what’s that mean? Aren’t we all opinionated? Show me one person with no opinions, and I’ll show you a bowl of Jell-O—or a politician, whichever one’s dumber.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #politicians #politics #random