#r

But I did die once. (I don't recommend it.) ↗

— Richelle Mead

#humor

Chuckling, I cried, “I’m sorry.” I pulled even harder and broke loose from his grip, but I fell backwards onto the floor. He slowly stalked towards me, his smile filled with desire and I pointed my hand at him. “Don’t. Behave!” “Don’t behave? I accept your terms of parole.” “That’s not what I meant!” But when my smile broke through, he knew I was lying. ↗

— Devon Ashley

#humor

You both ... you both saved me?" "Come on," said Luis. "You make it sound like it was hard for Val to go to the Unseelie Court, strike a deal with Roiben, challenge Mabry to a duel, win back your heart, and then get back here during rush hour. ↗

— Holly Black

#humor

But who wants to be foretold the weather? It is bad enough when it comes, without our having the misery of knowing about it beforehand. ↗

— Jerome K. Jerome

#humour #weather #humor

That cup of tea is definately not down your alley ↗

— Jean Ferris

#humor

Mr Lorry asks the witness questions: Ever been kicked? Might have been. Frequently? No. Ever kicked down stairs? Decidedly not; once received a kick at the top of a staircase, and fell down stairs of his own accord. ↗

— Charles Dickens

#dickens #humor #lie #witness #humor

No, you should stay right where you are, or my estranged brother and I will settle our difference by seeing who can break more of your bones." Tod glanced at him, brows raised. "You want to settle our differences?" Nash frowned. "No, I want to break every bone in his body, and I didn't think you'd let me do it alone." Tod nodded. "Good call. ↗

— Rachel Vincent

#hudsons #humor #humor

Beatrix puts a distance between herself and the rest of the world. She’s very engaging, but also quite private in nature. I see the same qualities in Captain Phelan.” “Yes,” Amelia said. “You’re absolutely right, Catherine. Put that way, the match does seem more appropriate.” “I still have reservations,” Leo said. “You always do,” Amelia replied. “If you’ll recall, you objected to Cam in the beginning, but now you’ve accepted him.” “That’s because the more brothers-in-law I acquire,” Leo said, “the better Cam looks by comparison. ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#humor #humor

Don’t make a feller wait too long. A feller waiting on a gal can get ornery’er than a huntin’ dog that’s tree’d it’s squirrel. ↗

— Colleen Houck

#love #romance #humor

Much to his annoyance, a thought popped into his mind. It was very clear and very distinct, and he had now come to recognize these thoughts for what they were. His instinct was to resist them. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#zaphod-beeblebrox #humor