#quotation

and (b) Kissing someone so that you can get a free trip is perilously close to full-on hooking ↗

— John Green

#humor

Then I yelled through his door, "It's an anniversary gift for you, asshole. Two whole weeks early. FIFTEEN YEARS IS BIG METAL CHICKENS. ↗

— Jenny Lawson

#humor

If you want to be a good saddler, saddle the worst horse; for if you can tame one, you can tame all. ↗

— Socrates

#saddler #socrates #tame #horses

I'm writing a book on Procrastination. I hope to start it tomorrow. I've been thinking about it for almost six years now. ↗

— Ron Moore

#procrastination

Chomsky is a pencil-and-paper theoretician who wouldn't know Jabba the Hutt from the Cookie Monster, ↗

— Steven Pinker

#humor #humorous-quotations #funny

I'll be fine. Maybe I should make up a magic milk bath with the Golden Fruit, huh?" I laughed. Kishan considered and grinned. "A giant bowlful of milk with you in the middle might be a little too much for us cats to resist. ↗

— Colleen Houck

#kishan #milk #humor

Have you ever noticed that folks will say ‘Look, he has his mama’s eyes’ or ‘his daddy’s nose,’ but they never say ‘We’re so proud! Look! He’s hung just like grampa’?” - Zach McKnight ↗

— Suzie Quint

#humor

Oh God, my stomach must have won a medal- it's doing a lap of honour now. ↗

— Ali McNamara

#love-story #humor

Lady Margaret believed in the three D's: Discipline, Desire, and Determination. But as she listened dutifully to her new employer, hiding her yawns and trying to sit up extra straight in her chair, Charity Hill began thinking of all the lovely things that began with S, such as Sleeping Late, Sex, and Shopping. ↗

— Elizabeth Jane Howard

#shopping #love

The point of quotations is that one can use another's words to be insulting. ↗

— Carolyn Gold Heilbrun

#insulting #point #quotations #use #words