#quotation

I believe in love. Unfortunately, it doesn't believe me. Lust, on the other hand, is a nagging wife poking constantly at my DNA. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#humorist #humorous-quotations #humourous #humor

and (b) Kissing someone so that you can get a free trip is perilously close to full-on hooking ↗

— John Green

#humor

Then I yelled through his door, "It's an anniversary gift for you, asshole. Two whole weeks early. FIFTEEN YEARS IS BIG METAL CHICKENS. ↗

— Jenny Lawson

#humor

If you want to be a good saddler, saddle the worst horse; for if you can tame one, you can tame all. ↗

— Socrates

#saddler #socrates #tame #horses

I'll be fine. Maybe I should make up a magic milk bath with the Golden Fruit, huh?" I laughed. Kishan considered and grinned. "A giant bowlful of milk with you in the middle might be a little too much for us cats to resist. ↗

— Colleen Houck

#kishan #milk #humor

Wow,” says Peter, “when your guidance counselor tells you to die, you really have problems. ↗

— Adam Selzer

#humorous #humorous-quotations #humor

At the point so near to zero, just almost before the death, life’s value jumps to infinity! ↗

— Mehmet Murat ildan

#death

Love is as we will it to be." ~ Amunhotep El Bey ↗

— Amunhotep El Bey

#funny #humorous-quotations #inspirational-quotations #lol #motivational-quotations

He who coordinates his thoughts with his actions controls his own destiny.” ~ Amunhotep El Bey ↗

— Amunhotep El Bey

#inspire #motivate #motivational-quotations #philosophical-quotations #death

In my book an erection constitutes personal growth. ↗

— Amunhotep El Bey

#fun #funny #funny-quotations #humor #humorous-quotations