#pun

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. ↗

— Yakov Smirnoff

#homosexuality #list #locked #locked up #men

I read 'Crime and Punishment' years ago and don't recall the details of it, but I do retain a strong sense of the creeping paranoia and panic. ↗

— Arthur Smith

#creeping #crime #details #i #i do

Only the pun remains. The pun, beloved of Shakespeare, children and tabloid headline-writers, is normally eschewed in the modern, sophisticated circles in which I move. ↗

— Arthur Smith

#children #circles #i #modern #move

The pun exists in a social and political void, caring nothing for the issues of its day, content merely to display itself in its small cleverness. ↗

— Arthur Smith

#cleverness #content #day #display #exists

I propose a Constitutional Amendment providing that, if any public official, elected or appointed, at any level of government, is caught lying to any member of the public for any reason, the punishment shall be death by public hanging. ↗

— L. Neil Smith

#any #appointed #caught #constitutional #constitutional amendment

If programmers deserve to be rewarded for creating innovative programs, by the same token they deserve to be punished if they restrict the use of these programs. ↗

— Richard Stallman

#deserve #innovative #programmers #programs #punished

The discipline of the written word punishes both stupidity and dishonesty. ↗

— John Steinbeck

#discipline #dishonesty #punishes #stupidity #word

Let's not talk punishment. ↗

— George Steinbrenner

#talk

The two-piece ball I switched to spun too much. One shot would go the distance I thought it should, then the next one would fall short, and then the next one would go long. ↗

— Payne Stewart

#distance #fall #go #i #long

Never go for the punch line. There might be something funnier on the way. ↗

— Jerry Stiller

#go #line #might #never #punch