#pun

Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another. ↗

— George Carlin

#audience #audience members #become #commonplace #far

It seems proper, at all events, that by an early enactment similar to that of other countries the application of public money by an officer of Government to private uses should be made a felony and visited with severe and ignominious punishment. ↗

— Martin Van Buren

#countries #early #enactment #events #felony

I wish I could undo what I did at Enron but I can't. I understand that I deserve punishment. Your honor, I accept the prison sentence that you are about to impose and will serve it without bitterness. ↗

— Andrew Fastow

#accept #bitterness #could #deserve #did

To punish a man because we infer from the nature of some doctrine which he holds, or from the conduct of other persons who hold the same doctrines with him, that he will commit a crime, is persecution, and is, in every case, foolish and wicked. ↗

— Thomas Babington Macaulay

#case #commit #conduct #crime #doctrine

God preordained, for his own glory and the display of His attributes of mercy and justice, a part of the human race, without any merit of their own, to eternal salvation, and another part, in just punishment of their sin, to eternal damnation. ↗

— John Calvin

#any #attributes #damnation #display #eternal

You will feel the full force of the law and if you are old enough to commit these crimes you are old enough to face the punishments. And to these people I would say this: you are not only wrecking the lives of others, you are potentially wrecking your own life too. ↗

— David Cameron

#crimes #enough #face #feel #force

I contend that it's impossible to read the Sermon on the Mount and not come out against capital punishment. ↗

— Tony Campolo

#capital #capital punishment #come #contend #i

The gods had condemned Sisyphus to ceaselessly rolling a rock to the top of a mountain, whence the stone would fall back of its own weight. They had thought with some reason that there is no more dreadful punishment than futile and hopeless labor. ↗

— Albert Camus

#ceaselessly #condemned #dreadful #fall #futile

God ceases to be God only for those who can admit the possibility of His non-existence, and that conception is in itself the most severe punishment they can suffer. ↗

— Giacomo Casanova

#ceases #conception #god #his #itself

God was treated like this powerful, erratic, rather punitive father who has to be pacified and praised. You know, flattered. ↗

— John Cleese

#father #flattered #god #know #like