#pun

My mother moves so fast I do not even see it coming. But she slaps my face hard enough to make my head snap backward. She leaves a print that stains me long after it’s faded. Just so you know: shame is five-fingered. ↗

— Jodi Picoult

#shame

Snarling an oath from an Icelandic saga, I reclaimed my place at the head of the queue. "Oy!" yelled a punk rocker, with studs in his cranium. "There's a fackin' queue!" Never apologize, advises Lloyd George. Say it again, only this time, ruder. "I know there's a 'fackin' queue'! I already queued in it once and I am not going to queue in it again just because Nina Simone over there won't sell me a ruddy ticket!" A colored yeti in a clip-on uniform swooped. "Wassa bovver?" "This old man here reckons his colostomy bag entitles him to jump the queue," said the skinhead, "and make racist slurs about the lady of Afro-Caribbean extraction in the advance-travel window." I couldn't believe I was hearing this. ↗

— David Mitchell

#humor #london #punk #racism #skinhead

To condense fact from the vapor of nuance. ↗

— Neal Stephenson

#snow

There is no right to punish. There is only the power to punish,' she wrote. 'A man is punished for his crime because the State is stronger than he; the great crime of War is not punished because beyond the individual there is mankind, and beyond mankind there is nothing at all. ↗

— Benjamin Moser

#punishment #war #biography

What if all those strange and unexplainable bends in history were the result of supernatural interference? At which point I asked myself, what's the weirdest most eccentric historical phenomenon of them all? Answer:the Great British Empire. Clearly, one tiny little island could only conquer half the known world with supernatural aid. Those absurd Victorian manners and ridiculous fashions were obviously dictated by vampires. And, without a doubt, the British army regimental system functions on werewolf pack dynamics. ↗

— Gail Carriger

#vampires #victorian #werewolves #werewolves

I concentrate intently on counting: hearing my voice break as the torment and torture builds; fingering myself intensely at his instruction. As we get past ten I slip up; overwhelmed by the sensations wracking my body, I realise in horror that I don’t know which number is next. ↗

— Felicity Brandon

#bdsm #punishment #spanking #bdsm

With his final blow delivered, he pulls me up toward him, first by my hips, and then by my hair. Groping my breasts and kissing me, he is full of congratulations. ‘Well done, Megan, you took your punishment well. Now it’s time for your reward. ↗

— Felicity Brandon

#bdsm-sex #boss-employee #punishment #spanking #bdsm

I had moments of my actions and words not reflecting who it is I am - if that defines a punk, then yes, absolutely. ↗

— Andre Agassi

#actions #am #defines #had #i

My whole back's tattooed. I just wanted a twist. I was always in punk bands when I was little... I think that's where the tie comes from. ↗

— Gary Allan

#back #bands #comes #i #i think

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted. ↗

— Fred Allen

#good #hanging #makes #man #puns