#pun

A brick would make a great lead character in an urban drama, because with 12 edges, a brick would be the edgiest character on TV by two sides.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Punctuation, is? fun! ↗

— Daniel Keyes

#punctuation #humor

I was shocked to read that Lord Ferrers, a Home Office minister, when booked for speeding and presented with a £40 fixed penalty with three penalty points, them wrote to the Suffolk police to thank them for catching him. There is a sickness in England. If his lordship appreciates punishment so much, it was unkind just to fine him. He should have been caned, with his trousers down, by the side of the road. ↗

— Auberon Waugh

#home

It made me realize how I needed to stop punishing her for something she couldn't help [...] because sometimes things happen to people and they're not equipped to deal with them. ↗

— Suzanne Collins

#daughter #katniss #mom #punishing #relationships

Well, look what the scamp has dragged home with her. Pirates, henchmen and naughty, naughty men—" A soft whack noise was followed by a startled squawk, as a tea towel hit Nessy in the face. She pulled the cloth down, shooting daggers at her lifetime companion. "What was that for?" Nan tapped her chin. "You're drooling dear, might want to mop up a bit. ↗

— A.W. Exley

#home

Punning is a talent which no man affects to despise but he that is without it. ↗

— Jonathan Swift

#puns #humor

Face it," Gary told her kindly. "You'll never catch up. You just do as much as you can and take the punishments without saying anything. Sometimes I wonder if that isn't what they're really trying to teach us--to take plenty and keep our mouths shut. ↗

— Tamora Pierce

#lesson #punishment #understanding #humor

When I love someone, I am blind for his/her flaws. When I hate someone, I am blind for his/her perfection ↗

— Ria Tumimomor

#love

I said never mix business with pleasure. They said it was a pleasure doing business with me. ↗

— Nikhil Sharda

#humourous #puns #satire-write #business

It is a considerable point in all good legislation to determine exactly the credibility of witnesses and the proofs of a crime. Every reasonable man, everyone, that is, whose ideas have a certain interconnection and whose feelings accord with those of other men, may be a witness. The true measure of his credibility is nothing other than his interest in telling or not telling the truth; for this reason it is frivolous to insist that women are too weak [to be good witnesses], childish to insist that civil death in a condemned man has the same effects as a real death, and meaningless to insist on the infamy of the infamous, when they have no interest in lying. ↗

— Cesare Beccaria

#crimes-and-punishments #justice #law #witnesses #death