#pregnancy

Why are you crying?' 'How can I possibly look good to you? I'm pregnant! I'm really, really pregnant!' 'Of course you are. Why are you crying?' 'Because I'm going to Hawai'i!' 'Yes, you're going to Hawai'i. Come on now, pull yourself together.' I kept crying. Darren looked frantic. He stepped back and fumbled for his roguish smirk. 'So, is this a hormone thing?' 'No, it's not a hormone thing! I'm old, Darren! I'm old and pregnant, and I'm going to Hawai'i. Can you understand how that makes me feel?' He could not. How could I possibly expect my husband to understand all the bizarre things that happen to a woman in spirit and flesh when a friendly alien takes over her body? He still couldn't figure out why Laurie and I wanted to fly all the way to Hawai'i just to spend a week lounging around the pool, comparing underarm flab, when we could stay home and have the same conversation over the phone for a lot less money. ↗

— Robin Jones Gunn

#pregnancy #robin-jones-gunn #sisterchicks #home

Stacey: "I'm surprised you haven't thrown me out." Comfort: "At your current weight, I'd need some sort of catapult. ↗

— Kristin Hannah

#humor #insult #pregnancy #sisters #humor

I still couldn't imagine that she was really, truly pregnant; maybe this was an hysterical pregnancy. But Sarah was never hysterical. Enthusiastic, yes, ironic on occasion. I couldn't imagine a doctor saying, "No, it's just an ironic pregnancy. ↗

— James Lileks

#irony #pregnancy #imagination

The Vatican won't prosecute pedophile priests but I decide I'm not ready for motherhood and it's condemnation for me? These are the same people that won't support national condom distribution that PREVENTS teenage pregnancy. ↗

— Sonya Renee Taylor

#catholic #feminism #feminist #motherhood #organized-religion

There are some women whose pregnancy would make some sly bachelor smile. ↗

— Honore de Balzac

#make #pregnancy #sly #smile #some

Suzanne had totally forgotten about their court date since she'd been a little busy having tons of condom-free sex with Ryder, planning Nikki's wedding, and forming a placenta. ↗

— Erin McCarthy

#sex #business

After the first miscarriage, I tried to take the attitude that it was my body's way of telling me that this pregnancy wasn't meant to be. ↗

— Christie Brinkley

#attitude #body #first #i #i tried

I never ever slept again after my first pregnancy. ↗

— Uma Thurman

#again #ever #first #i #never

Today you are thirteen weeks old and already controversial. You should know that the mention of the name Pablo is alarming to a very few, highly insignificant people. From this palsied paction there is occasionally the slightest pause, and then, 'Oh, really. Pablo.' Then with a small, self-depreciating chuckle, they might tilt their heads playfully and say something like 'Aren't you afraid people will think he's Mexican?' ... I find it amusing when they balk at Pablo, as though we were naming you Jesus H. Christ and jamming our nails into your hands. They seem to feel your name is up for general discussion, like naming a local bridge or a stray cat. Hmmm. Mr. Whiskers? I don't like Mr. Whiskers. I like the name Blackie.' Aren't you afraid people will think he's black? ↗

— Suzanne Finnamore

#pregnancy #humor

When you're pregnant, you can think of nothing but having your own body to yourself again, yet after having given birth you realize that the biggest part of you is now somehow external, subject to all sorts of dangers and disappearance, so you spend the rest of your life trying to figure out how to keep it close enough for comfort. That's the strange thing about being a mother: until you have a baby, you don't even realize how much you were missing one. ↗

— Jodi Picoult

#mother #motherhood #parents #pregnancy #life