#potter

The poor things keep calling in those – those pumbles, I think they're called – you know, the ones who mend pipes and things – " "Plumbers?" " – exactly, yes, but of course they're flummoxed. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #plumber #weasley #humor

I'm dying!" Malfoy yelled, as the class panicked. "I'm dying, look at me! It's killed me! ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #malfoy #humor

“Beds empty! No note! Car gone — could have crashed — out of my mind with worry — did you care? — never, as long as I’ve lived — you wait until your father gets home, we never had trouble like this from Bill or Charlie or Percy —" "Perfect Percy,” muttered Fred. “YOU COULD DO WITH TAKING A LEAF OUT OF PERCY’S BOOK!” yelled Mrs. Weasley, prodding a finger in Fred’s chest. “You could have died, you could have been seen, you could have lost your father his job —” It seemed to go on for hours. Mrs. Weasley had shouted herself hoarse before she turned on Harry, who backed away. “I’m very pleased to see you, Harry, dear,” she said. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #humor

We're all diamonds in the rough until God gets His hands on us". ~R. Alan Woods [1984] ↗

— R. Alan Woods

#potter-s-wheel #r-alan-woods #r-alan-woods

Well, we were always going to fail that one," said Ron gloomily as they ascended the marble staircase. He had just made Harry feel rather better by telling him how he told the examiner in detail about the ugly man with a wart on his nose in the crystal ball, only to look up and realize he had been describing the examiner's reflection. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#harry-potter #humor #ron-weasley #humor

I see a light in the kitchen. Let us not deprive Molly any longer of the chance to deplore how thin you are. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#harry-potter #humor #molly-weasley #humor

Freedome and responsibility is the same thing. ↗

— Alfonso Cuaron

#freedom

What's that?" he snarled, staring at the envelope Harry was still clutching in his hand. "If it's another form for me to sign, you've got another -" "It's not," said Harry cheerfully. "It's a letter from my godfather." "Godfather?" sputtered Uncle Vernon. "You haven't got a godfather!" "Yes, I have," said Harry brightly. "He was my mum and dad's best friend. He's a convicted murderer, but he's broken out of wizard prison and he's on the run. He likes to keep in touch with me, though...keep up with my news...check if I'm happy.... ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#godfather #harry-potter #humor #sirius-black #humor

These books can't possibly compete with centuries of established history, especially when that history is endorsed by the ultimate bestseller of all time." Faukman's eyes went wide. "Don't tell me Harry Potter is actually about the Holy Grail." "I was referring to the Bible." Faukman cringed. "I knew that. ↗

— Dan Brown

#holy-grail #humor #humor

I don't think you should be an Auror, Harry," said Luna unexpectedly. Everybody looked at her. "The Aurors are part of the Rotfang Conspiracy, I thought everyone knew that. They're working to bring down the Ministry of Magic from within using a mixture of dark magic and gum disease. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#conspiracy #gum-disease #harry-potter #humor #luna-lovegood