#ports

[Lizzie Bennington to a reporter who has asked for her opinion about Jack Archer's celebrated thighs.] “When you come back from a set down and bring the match to a final set tiebreak and are a point away from winning the match, only to have what looks like an extremely fit player call a time out because of a cramp and then watch that player sit back and casually converse and laugh while you do your best to keep your mental focus and your body moving so you don’t grow cold and cramp yourself, I hardly think you’d concern yourself with his burgeoning manhood, let alone his thighs! ↗

— A.G. Starling

#contemporary-romance #funny #game #lizzie-bennet #love

Several professional athletes have wrongly taught many young Americans by example that the only way to succeed in sports is to take steroids. ↗

— Jim Sensenbrenner

#example #many #only #professional #professional athletes

wouldn't you like to make sure all those millions you give to Uncle Sam went to schools and hospitals instead of nuclear warheads?' As a matter of fact, he would. Playgrounds for big kids, preschool programs to little ones, and mandatory LASIK surgery for NFL refs. ↗

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

#humor #sports #taxes #humor

Sleepwalking is the perfect exorcise for lazy people ↗

— Benny Bellamacina

#humor #humour #life #philosophy #sports

There's something about sports. You can be setting fire to cats and burying them in your backyard, but as long as you're playing team sports, people think you're okay. ↗

— Polly Horvath

#sports #humor

When you're a sportswriter, you learn how to use your imagination and to flex your literary muscle, because it's the same game played over and over again. There's nothing unique or marvelous. It's not an earthquake, or a weird mass murder. It's just the same old game played over and over, and you have to bring out the personalities. You have to drag them kicking and screaming out into the light of day, or you're not a good sportswriter. ↗

— Rick Bragg

#sportswriters #writing #imagination

I'm the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be. ↗

— Bret Hart

#sports #wrestling #inspirational

In medieval times, contrary to popular belief, most knights were bandits, mercenaries, lawless brigands, skinners, highwaymen, and thieves. The supposed chivalry of Charlemagne and Roland had as much to do with the majority of medieval knights as the historical Jesus with the temporal riches and hypocrisy of the Catholic Church, or any church for that matter. Generally accompanied by their immoral entourage or servants, priests, and whores, they went from tourney to tourney like a touring rock and roll band, sports team, or gang of South Sea pirates. Court to court, skirmish to skirmish, rape to rape. Fighting as the noble's substitution for work. ↗

— Tod Wodicka

#brigands #catholic-church #charlemagne #chivalry #highwaymen

It would be difficult to convince me that leaning has no effect whatsoever on the outcome of my bowling. ↗

— Amy Krouse Rosenthal

#bowling #leaning #sports #life

Life would be better if the Leafs would make the playoffs. Life would be perfect if they’d win the Stanley Cup. ↗

— Tom Earle

#playoffs #sports #stanley-cup #life