#plum

I didn't understand how. But the toilets had responded to me. I had become one with the plumbing... ↗

— Rick Riordan

#percy-jackson #plumbing #humor

I don't believe this," Morelli yelled. "I don't fucking believe this. What do you do, sit in bed at night and think about ways to fuck up my life? ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#stephanie-plum #life

From the look on your face, I'd say you know him." I nodded. "Sold him a cannoli when I was in high school." Connie grunted. "Honey, half of all the women in New Jersey have sold him their cannoli ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#money

My professional aspirations were simple - I wanted to be an intergalactic princess. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#aspiration

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday. ↗

— Woody Allen

#god #only #plumber #sunday #try

I wanted to be a plumber. ↗

— Robert Goulet

#plumber #wanted

I never planned on being a plumber. ↗

— Scott Caan

#i #never #planned #plumber

My singing voice is somewhere between a drunken apology and a plumbing problem. ↗

— Colin Firth

#between #drunken #plumbing #problem #singing

Bob had a dog buscuit stuck to his head. "How does he always get food stuck to him?" I asked Morelli. "I don't know," Morelli said. "It's a Bob mystery. I think stuff falls out of his mouth and he rolls in it. I'm not sure." -Morelli And Stephanie ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#humor #morelli #stephanie-plum #food

I kicked my shoes off, shuffled out of the black jeans and carted an armload of food into my bedroom. I switched the television on and crawled into bed with the channel changer. Do I know how to have a good time, or what? ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#stephanie-plum #food