#plum

My mother drove back to the intersection. "Who are you dating?" "Don't ask," I said. I wasn't dating anyone. I was fornicating with Batman. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#dating

There is no such thing as a good call at 7 AM. It's been my experience that all calls between the hours of 11 PM and 9 AM are disaster calls. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#night #phone #plum #sleep #stephanie

Your on your on with this one babe." "Coward." "Calling me names isn't going to get me in there." -Ranger and Stephanie ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#ranger #stephanie-plum #funny

In spite of all the sparring that went on between us, I sort of liked Morelli. Good judgment told me to stand clear of him, but then I've never been a slave to good judgment. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#mystery #stephanie-plum #funny

Maybe it was me," Grandma said."Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart? ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#granmda-mazur #humor #stephanie-plum #funny

Now that we know you're not a hundred percent vampire you should stop trying to suck necks," I said to Ziggy. "I'll try," Ziggy said, "but it's a hard habit to break. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#stephine-plum #vampire #funny

My mother had been slicing up the chicken. She took a drumstick and dropped it on the floor. She kicked it around a little, picked it up and put it on the edge of the plate. "There," she said, "we'll give him this drumstick." "Deal. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#stephanie-plum #humor

I was completely out of clean clothes. That meant I could be a slut and sleep naked , or I could be a slob and sleep in what I was wearing. Truth is, I'm not entirely comfortable sleeping naked. I do it from time to time, but I worry that God might be watching or that my mother might find out, and I'm pretty sure they both think nice girls should wear pyjamas to bed. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#stephanie-plum #humor

Next time I fall in love it's going to be with someone who isn't an expert in fibbing." "You're in love with me?" "You didn't know that?" "I did, but it's nice to hear." "Scares the hell out of me. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#stephanie-plum #love

Yeah. Almost as surprising as when you nailed me with your father's car." In the interest of avoiding confrontation, I felt compelled to explain. I didn't feel obliged to do it convincingly. "It was an accident. My foot slipped." "That was no accident. You jumped the goddamn curb and followed me down the sidewalk. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#stephanie-plum #money