#peanut

I've hung out in the writer's room a few times, but the fact is we've got such a good writing staff, I don't want to get my peanut butter fingerprints on anything. ↗

— Patton Oswalt

#butter #fact #few #fingerprints #get

No man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after eating one peanut. ↗

— Channing Pollock

#courage #eating #man #more #peanut

My mom used to make everything. She had a great garden and composted and made everything from scratch - peanut butter, bread, jelly, everything. I don't know how she did it because all those things take time and love and labour. I only do half the stuff she does - but there's still time. ↗

— Julia Roberts

#bread #butter #did #does #everything

Well, you know, I had been a peanut farmer. I had - you know who was the first president - Democratic president I ever met? Bill Clinton. ↗

— Jimmy Carter

#bill #bill clinton #clinton #democratic #ever

I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanuts' character. ↗

— Jon Stewart

#body #born #character #head #i

Yes,' he said sincerely. 'Such a one deserves peanut butter on the seat of his pants. ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#humor #mercy #peanut-butter #silly #humor

It's your money or you'll be wearing cement shoes - Peppermint Patty ↗

— Charles M. Schulz

#money

Jeff: I understand you guys had a good day today? Peanut: Yes we had a great day! Jose: No we did not. Peanut: Yes Jose: No Peanut: Yes Jose: No Peanut: Yes Jose: No we did not have a good day. Peanut: Yes we hhhaad...a great frickin' day! What? Jeff: Did you have a good day? Peanut: Yes Jose: No Peanut: Shut up Jeff: A good day? Peanut: Yes Jose: No Peanut: Shut up Jeff: You're supposed to have taken him to the spa. Peanut: I took him to the spa! Jose: He put me in the vegetable steamer. Peanut: It's the same thing!!! ↗

— Jeff Dunham

#humor #jeff-dunham #jose-jalapeno-on-a-stick #peanut #humor