#peanut

Yes,' he said sincerely. 'Such a one deserves peanut butter on the seat of his pants. ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#humor #mercy #peanut-butter #silly #humor

It's your money or you'll be wearing cement shoes - Peppermint Patty ↗

— Charles M. Schulz

#money

Jeff: I understand you guys had a good day today? Peanut: Yes we had a great day! Jose: No we did not. Peanut: Yes Jose: No Peanut: Yes Jose: No Peanut: Yes Jose: No we did not have a good day. Peanut: Yes we hhhaad...a great frickin' day! What? Jeff: Did you have a good day? Peanut: Yes Jose: No Peanut: Shut up Jeff: A good day? Peanut: Yes Jose: No Peanut: Shut up Jeff: You're supposed to have taken him to the spa. Peanut: I took him to the spa! Jose: He put me in the vegetable steamer. Peanut: It's the same thing!!! ↗

— Jeff Dunham

#humor #jeff-dunham #jose-jalapeno-on-a-stick #peanut #humor

Stop worrying about the world ending today. It's already tomorrow in Australia. ↗

— Charles M. Schulz

#end

I've been into the habit of freezing white grapes and using them as a snack. Instead of eating peanuts or popcorn or something like that or pretzels, I just eat the white grapes. ↗

— Mike Ditka

#eat #eating #freezing #grapes #habit

If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys. ↗

— James Goldsmith

#monkeys #pay #peanuts #you

Peanut butter is my frenemy. ↗

— Coco J. Ginger

#adventure #art #being #chance #chaos

Sometimes I lie awake at night and I ask, "Why me?", then a voice answers "Nothing personal, your name just happened to come up. ↗

— Charles M. Schulz

#humor #peanuts #humor

The political brain is shaped like a peanut, only not as big.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #peanuts #politics #humor

Probably? So you're asking me to trust my life to steel wool and peanut butter?" "Poisoned peanut butter." "Cal, I don't care if it's nuclear peanut butter. ↗

— Scott Westerfeld

#cal #peanut #peeps #poisoned #scott-westerfeld