#paraphrased

How do you know if a demon is lying? His lips are moving. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#insult #paraphrased #insult

Atlas smirked. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#paraphrased #unintentional-humor #humor

What's in a name, anyway? That which we call a nose by any other name would still smell. ↗

— Reduced Shakespeare Company

#paraphrased #romeo-and-juliet #shakespeare #humor

What doesn't kill us makes us funnier. ↗

— Marian Keyes

#paraphrased #stories #humor

So many things to see, people to do. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#paraphrased #humor

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a thirty-something woman in possession of a satisfying career and fabulous hairdo must be in want of very little ↗

— Shannon Hale

#romantic-humor #humor

We didn't land on plymouth rock, Plymouth rock landed on us". ↗

— Malcolm X

#cole-porter #paraphrased #song-lyrics #song-lyrics

Those unable to catalog the past are doomed to repeat it. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#doomed-to-repeat-it #history #humor #paraphrased #humor

When a man plans, a woman laughs. ↗

— David Wong

#humour #men #paraphrased #plans #women

It's better to have loved and lost than to be nagged about buying a damn anniversary gift every year. ↗

— Joey Green

#love #paraphrased #humor