#other

JESSICA: My preparation for motherhood began with hiking. LUKE: And where did your preparation for hiking begin? JESSICA: In the same place as my preparation for motherhood: with the birds and the bees. And you are not mature enough to have that conversation without asking about pollination strategies or ornithological classification. ↗

— Bauvard

#hiking #humor #motherhood #funny

Idleness is a constant sin, and labor is a duty. Idleness is the devil's home for temptation and for unprofitable, distracting musings; while labor profit others and ourselves. ↗

— Anne Baxter

#devil #distracting #duty #home #idleness

Religion has caused more misery to all of mankind in every stage of human history than any other single idea. ↗

— Madalyn Murray O'Hair

#caused #every #history #human #human history

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. ↗

— Orson Welles

#dinners #doctor #four #having #intimate

So my one kid's 4, my other kid's 4 months, I'm 44, Barack Obama is the 44th president - it's all lining up nicely here. ↗

— Eddie Vedder

#barack obama #here #i #kid #lining

How do I know you'll keep your word?" asked Coraline. "I swear it," said the other mother. "I swear it on my own mother's grave." "Does she have a grave?" asked Coraline. "Oh yes," said the other mother. "I put her in there myself. And when I found her trying to crawl out, I put her back. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#humor #mothers #humor

What's another word for Thesaurus? ↗

— Steven Wright

#another #thesaurus #word

When in trouble or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout. ↗

— Cory Doctorow

#little-brother #humor

If you have to fight a crowd of boys, it's best to go for the biggest one. That way you won't have to fight them all. The others will see that you mean business and you will win their respect. ↗

— Suzanne Vega

#biggest #business #crowd #fight #go

You're some freaky shit, my brother. You really are ↗

— J.R. Ward

#brothers #humor #love #rhage #humor