#orgasms

I’m a romantic. I like cold coffee and orgasms that arrive fifteen minutes after I’ve put on my clothes and paid the lady. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #hooker #orgasms #funny

Telling a woman that you will be unable to climax unless you are looking at her in a mirror is, in my experience, an excellent way to ensure the only place you will ever see her again is in depressing memories. ↗

— Stephen Moles

#love #mirrors #orgasms #relationships #sex

I wish," I said. "I could save orgasms in a jar for when I need them, because I think I have a few extra. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#jars #orgasm-orgasms #sex #wish #humor

Why send roses? Wouldn’t it be more romantic to deliver a dozen orgasms? For only $19.95, I’ll deliver them to your woman any day of the year. But be sure to book early for Valentine’s Day.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#flowers #funny #humor #love #naughty

Friends are like orgasms: you can never have too many, but just try to watch out for the fake ones. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#friendship #orgasms #friendship

Men lie to get laid, women lie about orgasms, and hermaphrodites lie to themselves.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#deception #funny #hermaphrodites #humor #lie