#orgasm

Men lie to get laid, women lie about orgasms, and hermaphrodites lie to themselves.
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— Jarod Kintz

#deception #funny #hermaphrodites #humor #lie

We rehearse for the big death through the little death of orgasm, through erotic living. Death as transfiguration ↗

— Peter Redgrove

#eros #orgasm #sex #death

No woman gets an orgasm from shining the kitchen floor. ↗

— Betty Friedan

#housekeeping #orgasm #sex #sexuality #women

I’m a romantic. I like cold coffee and orgasms that arrive fifteen minutes after I’ve put on my clothes and paid the lady. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #hooker #orgasms #funny

Telling a woman that you will be unable to climax unless you are looking at her in a mirror is, in my experience, an excellent way to ensure the only place you will ever see her again is in depressing memories. ↗

— Stephen Moles

#love #mirrors #orgasms #relationships #sex

I wish," I said. "I could save orgasms in a jar for when I need them, because I think I have a few extra. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#jars #orgasm-orgasms #sex #wish #humor

The religion of orgasm: utilitarianism projected into sex life; efficiency versus indolence; coition reduced to an obstacle to be got past as quickly as possible in order to reach an ecstatic explosion, the only true goal of love-making and of the universe. ↗

— Milan Kundera

#sex #life

Why send roses? Wouldn’t it be more romantic to deliver a dozen orgasms? For only $19.95, I’ll deliver them to your woman any day of the year. But be sure to book early for Valentine’s Day.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#flowers #funny #humor #love #naughty

The Female Orgasm. The Big O. That elusive, reclusive Loch Ness of the labia. Does it prove the existence of God, or just His twisted sense of humor? ↗

— Kirstie Collins Brote

#first-love #love #new-adult #new-adult-lit #new-adult-romance

Mmmm I like the sounds you're making," he murmured in a honeyed whisper. "I just bet that you're a screamer. Should I have brought earplugs? Kurt Nielsen ↗

— Nikki Sex

#sex #sexy-humor #sexy-men #men