#orgasm

I’m a romantic. I like cold coffee and orgasms that arrive fifteen minutes after I’ve put on my clothes and paid the lady. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #hooker #orgasms #funny

Telling a woman that you will be unable to climax unless you are looking at her in a mirror is, in my experience, an excellent way to ensure the only place you will ever see her again is in depressing memories. ↗

— Stephen Moles

#love #mirrors #orgasms #relationships #sex

I wish," I said. "I could save orgasms in a jar for when I need them, because I think I have a few extra. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#jars #orgasm-orgasms #sex #wish #humor

The religion of orgasm: utilitarianism projected into sex life; efficiency versus indolence; coition reduced to an obstacle to be got past as quickly as possible in order to reach an ecstatic explosion, the only true goal of love-making and of the universe. ↗

— Milan Kundera

#sex #life

Why send roses? Wouldn’t it be more romantic to deliver a dozen orgasms? For only $19.95, I’ll deliver them to your woman any day of the year. But be sure to book early for Valentine’s Day.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#flowers #funny #humor #love #naughty

The Female Orgasm. The Big O. That elusive, reclusive Loch Ness of the labia. Does it prove the existence of God, or just His twisted sense of humor? ↗

— Kirstie Collins Brote

#first-love #love #new-adult #new-adult-lit #new-adult-romance

Mmmm I like the sounds you're making," he murmured in a honeyed whisper. "I just bet that you're a screamer. Should I have brought earplugs? Kurt Nielsen ↗

— Nikki Sex

#sex #sexy-humor #sexy-men #men

He slides himself inside her, her heart is bursting. The pithy organic organ can't hold all that she feels for this man. When she reaches her peak, her brain supernovas, a small, perfect death. ↗

— MrsAlenko

#love #mass-effect #orgasm #rebirth #sex

She's had a long life. Now she's going to the Lord." "Frankly it creeps me out a little when you say things like that," Simon said. "It shouldn't. If you don't like 'Lord,' pick another word. She's going home. She's going back to the party. Whatever you like." "I suppose you have some definite ideas about an afterlife." "Sure. We get reabsorbed into the earthly and celestial mechanism." "No heaven?" "That's heaven." "What about realms of glory? What about walking around in golden slippers?" "We abandon consciousness as if we were waking from a bad dream. We throw it off like clothes that never fit us right. It's an ecstatic release we're physically unable to apprehend while we're in our bodies. Orgasm is our best hint, but it's crude and minor by comparison. ↗

— Michael Cunningham

#death #orgasm #death

Now? I'm just another female faking orgasms to make a man not feel so inadequate. ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#experience-mistakes-wisdom #experiences #gender #love #men-and-women