#orders

I lift my arm out of the water. It's a log. Put it back under and it blows up even bigger. People see the log and call it a twig. They yell at me because I can't see what they see. Nobody can explain to me why my eyes work different than theirs. Nobody can make it stop. ↗

— Laurie Halse Anderson

#eating-disorders

The stuffing/puking/stuffing/puking/stuffing/puking didn't make her skinny, it made her cry. ↗

— Laurie Halse Anderson

#eating-disorders

He doesn't see my breasts or my waist or my hips. He only sees the nightmare. ↗

— Laurie Halse Anderson

#eating-disorders #eating-disorders

I knit the afternoon away. I knit reasons for Elijah to come back. I knit apologies for Emma. I knit angry knots and slipped stitches for every mistake I ever made, and I knit wet, swollen stitches that look awful. I knit the sun down. ↗

— Laurie Halse Anderson

#knitting #eating-disorders

I don't just use yarn from a store. I buy old sweaters from consignment shops. The older the better, and unravel them. There are countries of women in this scarf/shawl/blanket. Soon it will be big enough to keep me warm. ↗

— Laurie Halse Anderson

#cold #eating-disorders #warm #eating-disorders

She began to be reassured by these pains, tangible symbols of her success in becoming thinner than anyone else. Her only identity was being "the skinniest." She had to feel it. ↗

— Steven Levenkron

#eating-disorder #skinny #thin #eating-disorders

She ran her hands over her body as if to bid it good-bye. The hipbones rising from a shrunken stomach were razor-sharp. Would they be lost in a sea of fat? She counted her ribs bone by bone. Where would they go? ↗

— Steven Levenkron

#bones #eating-disorder #fat #skinny #thin

I would not encourage you to go through the sweat, blood, and tears of the recovery process only to reach some kind of mediocre state where you were just ‘managing’ the illness. It is possible to live without Ed. ↗

— Jenni Schaefer

#recovery #love

I need to make myself strong on the inside instead of what is on the outside. I know all of this, but why can’t I put any of it into action? I guess that’s why I am in this place. ↗

— Piper Caleb

#diary #eating-disorders #new-adult #psychology #new-adult

She lay on her back and walked her fingers down her ribs, skipped them over her abdomen, and landed on her pelvic bones. She tapped them with her Knuckles. [. . .] I can hear my bones, she thought. Her fingers moved up from her pelvic bones to her waist. The elastic of her underpants barely touched the center of her abdomen. The bridge is almost finished, she thought. The elastic hung loosely around each thigh. More progress. She put her knees together and raised them in the air. No matter how tightly she pressed them together, her thighs did not touch. ↗

— Steven Levenkron

#bones #eating-disorder #skinny #thigh-gap #thin