#oh

John flung himself into a pseudo-karate stance, one hand poised behind him and one in front, posed like a cartoon cactus. I thought for an odd moment he had moved his limbs so fast they had made that whoosh sound through air but then I realized John was making that sound with his mouth. ↗

— David Wong

#john #karate #whoosh #funny

Gohan...Is that sunburn or are you blushing? ↗

— Akira Toriyama

#funny #gohan #goku #krillian #videl

Blackouts can be fun if approached with the right mindset. You just can't sweat the fact that you've lost a small portion of your life for all eternity. Occasionally, little bubbles of memory will float up like surreal Mylar party balloons at unexpected times throughout the net day and start piecing together a colorful, if incomplete, version of reality. ↗

— Josh Kilmer-Purcell

#alcoholism #blackout #drugs #funny #humor

He who destroys a good book, kills reason itself. ↗

— John Milton

#honesty #john-milton #random #reason #truth

The big male gestured to a chair in the corner. "Mind if I sit?" She nodded her acquiescence. "Go right ahead. That chair has seen more tail than a rock star lately. ↗

— Elisabeth Staab

#funny-humor #siddoh #funny

One must binge constantly to remain self-employed. To sober up would result in getting fired for over-efficiency. ↗

— Bauvard

#binging #employment #funny #humor #sobriety

Being upright and uncompromising will lead to unemployment by themselves. But to be willfully ignorant of a calling in life as well, that is the denial of a born alcoholic. ↗

— Bauvard

#callings #denial #funny #humor #jobs

Water is not as life-giving as alcohol, or as widespread. But it is more ethical to use as an industrial solvent. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #solvents #water #funny

I have tried many times to express my feelings, but at each attempt, I find myself tongue-tied. ↗

— Kate Cary

#love

Sometimes people don't understand the promises they're making when they make them. ↗

— John Green

#john-green