#ny

A bronze plaque read: GAIUS PLINIUS CAECILIUS SECUNDUS Dan made a face. "Get a load of the guy with the funny name." "I think that's Pliny the younger, the famous Roman writer," Amy supplied. She bent down to read the English portion of the tablet. "Right. In A.D. 79, Pliny chronicled the destruction of Pompeii by the eruption of Mount Vesuvius. It's one of the earliest eyewitness accounts of a major disaster." Dan yawned. "Doesn't this remind you of the clue hunt? You know–you telling me a bunch of boring stuff, and me not listening? ↗

— Gordon Korman

#funny

As your abilities begin to grow, your angelic side will start to manifest itself in more noticeable ways." "My angelic side. Great. Like I don't have enough to deal with." "It's not so bad," Mom says. "You'll learn to control it." "I'll learn to control my hair? ↗

— Cynthia Hand

#funny

Nothing makes you think you might need years of therapy like saying the word breasts in front of your mother. ↗

— Katie McGarry

#funny

The only funny part about Colonial Dunsboro is maybe it's too authentic, but for all the wrong reasons. This whole crowd of losers and nutcases who hide out here because they can't make it in the real world, in real jobs — isn't this why we left England in the first place? To establish our own alternate reality. Weren't the Pilgrims pretty much the crackpots of their time? For sure, instead of just wanting to believe something different about God's love, the losers I work with want to find salvation through compulsive behaviors. ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#funny

You know, Ham," Breeze noted. "The only funny thing about your jokes is how often they lack any humor whatsoever. ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#p- #funny

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. ↗

— Billy Sunday

#car #funny #humor #religious #funny

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." Need I say more? ↗

— Chris Rock

#everyday-life #funny #humor #observational-comedy #funny

Because - oh shut up laughing, you two - because they've just been turned down by girls they asked to the ball! ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#hp #humor

Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be. ↗

— Shel Silverstein

#hope #impossible #inspirational #musn-t #possibilities

One love, one heart, one destiny. ↗

— Bob Marley

#compassion #destiny #heart #humanity #inspirational