#nose

I want to get the huge wart that looks like a nose removed from my back, but first I'm going to try to grow a mustache underneath it, to make it less noticeable. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#blemish #funny #grotesque #humor #mustache

The mother was holding a baby, had a stroller with what looked like twin girls around three, and had a five-year-old boy who was running around the shelves with a finger shoved up his nose. I considered warning him that if he fell, he would poke his brain out, but it struck me that losing intelligence was not something he was worried about. ↗

— Eileen Cook

#dry-wit #family #intelligence #nose-picking #poke

A girl got a nosebleed, so I gave her a tampon and warned her about the responsibilities of womanhood. “You’re going to get a lot of guys trying to stick things up there,” I said. Now she’s a mouth breather. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #menstrual-cycles #nosebleeds #womanhood #funny

My sister and I are both diagnosed with second-hand smoke syndromes. We have never smoked, but we grew up with second-hand smoke our entire lives. ↗

— Loni Anderson

#diagnosed #entire #entire lives #grew #i

It takes little talent to see what lies under one's nose, a good deal to know in what direction to point that organ. ↗

— W. H. Auden

#direction #good #good deal #know #lies

I got rid of my glasses and they changed my hair. That's really all they did. They went shopping for me, so the clothes are different too. It wasn't like Extreme Makeover where I got a nose job or anything. ↗

— Clay Aiken

#changed #clothes #did #different #extreme

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose. ↗

— Woody Allen

#am #comes #except #i #i am

I was diagnosed with hypoglycemia, an abnormal decrease of sugar in the blood. Eventually I learned to eat five small meals a day. Now if I'm making a movie and get hungry, I call time out to eat some crackers. ↗

— Carol Alt

#blood #call #crackers #day #decrease

Sometimes oppurtunities float right past your nose. Work hard, apply yourself, and be ready. When an opportunity comes you can grab it. ↗

— Julie Andrews

#comes #float #grab #hard #nose

You heard on all sides that the brightest Jewish children were turned down if the examining officers did not like the turn of their noses. ↗

— Mary Antin

#children #did #down #examining #heard