#nonsense

Like Alexander the Great and Caesar, I’m out to conquer the world. But first I have to stop at Walmart and pick up some supplies.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#alexander-the-great #bizarre #caesar #conquer #funny

Xxxx xxxx x xxxx, xxxxx xxx x xxx xxx x xxxx. Xxxx xxxx xxxx x xxxxx xxxx xx Xxxxxxx. ↗

— Pseudonymous Bosch

#funny #humor #nonsense #pseudonymous #the-name-of-this-book-is-secret

You could empty the trash and my love for you still wouldn’t fit inside. But just because it won’t fit, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t empty the trash. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#love #nonsense #ridiculous #trash #love

If one unlabeled bottle holds nonfat milk, what does the second unlabeled bottle contain? If you answered “Whole milk” then you’re obviously not ready to receive a jug of my love. So I’ll just pour it in someone else’s coffee.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#label #labels #love #milk #nonsense

I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too. ↗

— Steve Martin

#money #nonsense #rich #humor

Love lets us ride on its back as if it were a camel. But you’ve got to water it, or it won’t grow into a healthy rose bush. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#health #healthy #love #nonsense #ride

Despite marking the spot, Generation X has no treasure. How could they, when I dug it up first? 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#digging #generation #generation-x #map #nonsense

Have you ever heard a blindfolded octopus unwrap a cellophane-covered bathtub? ↗

— Norton Juster

#bathtub #fantasy #fiction #hearing #kids

That doesn't sound very attractive," laughed Anne. "I like people to have a little nonsense about them. ↗

— L.M. Montgomery

#nonsense #nonsense

You are hurrying to the sweet place, To the nonsense chasing your spirit And in the nonsense you look for answers. ↗

— Dejan Stojanovic

#chasing #circling #dejan-stojanovic #hurrying #literature